Darkphuria

`moved

2007-04-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

I have finally moved my blog to:
http://dark-xuan.blogspot.com/

m.a.t.t.
Renewal.

`the final cut

2007-02-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm in HK now, going to have my second reunion dinner. I guess it's not bad... though I think it's quite boring waiting. Waiting for the food, waiting for everyone to arrive, waiting for... something. Lol. Bleh. It's not bad though, 'coz I do get quite a lot of red packets. xP

Guess what. I got a new phone for my birthday! Hehe... That's an early gift of course. I didn't expect to get a new phone from my parents; I thought mine would last me for probably another year or so. Yay to Sony Ericsson! It has new functions that my previous phone didn't have of course. Lol. Finally I have some songs in the phone... LOL.

I also bought 张韶涵's 梦里花. I like the album-named song! It's has a really mystical feel, I guess. But I haven't got the time to listen to the whole album. I only listened to the 1st two songs. Lol. But they are not bad, really. Yay to new album. No, wait. Yay to new Chinese album. =P

The day before I left for HK, after SJI's CNY celebrations, I went to Lido with Weijie, Norman and Kuanhuai for lunch, then we went to watch Epic Movie while Kh left for his CCA. Wj said it's a budget movie. My rating: 5/10 I think it's not bad, for the fact that it made me laugh like some retard and let me forget all the troubles I have. For one, it's one dumb movie. "... for legal purposes" and the place was called Gnarnia. Umm... yea. Anyway, I expected more from it. Yeah.

The day before the day I left for HK, after training, I went out with Roy for dinner. We were bored in a way. But it was whole lot of fun walking around, talking and (possibly bitching) about all sorts of people. LOL. I miss those times.

It's gonna be time for dinner soon. Oh yes. I have decided to stop blogging. Let me depart from blog usage, the online diary, the source of my life's information. It's a liberation in a sense. Yes. But I won't delete this. I'll just leave it here to rot.

m.a.t.t.
Deliverance.

`CNY

2007-02-16T18:50:00.000+08:00

Finally something that's more proper. I'm going back to HK for this CNY...! Lol. Just like last year actually. Oh well. I can't wait. =P There's cold weather in HK, not like hot sunny humid S'pore~ Lol.

I'm leaving tmr morning at 8am at T1. Hmm. I realised it's the same flight that I took in December last year. Same airline, same plane, same timing. How coincidental. Over here, there are some people who's leaving for HK too, though I don't know them. Just over-heard them. (I didn't eavesdrop.)

The 'great' common test week just ended yesterday. I think I'm pretty satisfied with my effort put into this term. Though I totally regret my E. Humans paper, 'coz I didn't finish it. -_- Well, tons didn't finish too. Lol. The teachers haven't revealed any results yet though, besides Bio. mcq. Bleh. I guess that's a good thing, 'coz I won't need to fret over my wonderful/obscene results. LOL.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! 新年快乐! I'll try to blog when I'm in HK, if I ever have the time to do so. I'm really swarmed with the lunch/dinner appointments over this long weekend. Hehe... I'll try to keep in touch. See ya'll!

m.a.t.t.
Discretion is my best policy, for now.

`疏远

2007-02-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

I didn't think I could find time to blog or even come online. But many things have happened in my absence. Too many things.

I didn't think it's fair to leave me alone and do everything yourself, and claim that I'm ignorant and do not care about the situation. How is it justified when I'm not informed? Am I to be self-informed? I don't know, yet. It's as if I know them already, through some sort of telepathy. In any case, then I must be some godly being.

I didn't think the common tests were like this, as compared to last year's. It continues to bug me when I know my stuff, and time restricts me. Then there's O Level Express Chinese results. Disappointed: yes indeed. Drop HCL/Suicidal mode: riiiiiight.

I didn't think about myself much lately. It must be due to the time I spend on studying. Have I neglected the problems I face? Not exactly. I'm not even aware of them, how can I face them. Honsetly, I don't like the blame that's pushed on me for not being initiative when I'm wholly not informed while you get the information and do everything yourself.

我没想到你会觉得你自己孤军作战。但如果我尚收通知，那你就不该指责我。

m.a.t.t.
事不如意常八九.

`gone wrong

2007-02-06T19:00:00.000+08:00

It just doesn't make sense when things are brought up and misunderstandings are supposedly cleared, but the situation gets totally worse. To think it's supposed to salvage the relationship, yet it sours it, and there's probably further concerns to it. This whole thing bugs.

m.a.t.t.

`自以为是的我

2007-02-01T19:30:00.001+08:00

真是自欺欺人.
我... 原来一直都被遮挡着;
我... 原来一直都自以为是;
我... 原来一直都在骗自己.

以为长大了.
今天的启示,
却令我踌躇.
我是否错了?

轩

`做人

2007-01-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

I thought over it. I suppose my previous post was a little too harsh on words. All I can say is, it might surprise you, but I've been dreaming (day or night) about how I was going to die. Naturally of course.

For instance: I see a friend of mine crossing the road and is about to get hit by an incoming vehicle, so I rush forward and push him aside, which led to my death. But that's quite painful. Then there's another instance: I get infected by some virus, and it gets so serious, I just faint one day who-knows-where and I fall into a coma. Whoa.

Looking over the past few days, I've been quite confused. Really. It's not because I regained my voice and start to talk a lot, which might or might not be a good thing. It's not because of the homework load, which isn't much anyway. It's also not because of the light in which people see my condition in. There's just this group of people, be they related or not related, just blocks out my mind with their actions. It totally shuns me.

I just watched finished this serial drama of 酒店风云, and it strikes me to a certain depth. Somehow, this mind that people use everyday seems to be a really bewildering tool. One who is rather naive can be really good, frank and direct. 但人总有虚有其表的一面. You can't judge a book by its cover - you can't judge a person on how he looks on the outside. 不怕一万, 只怕万一. Sometimes it's better to take precautions than just believe that everything is fine. 人心叵测. You never know what someone may do to you...

Enough of what I just said. That might not happen now. But you never know. You can't predict what you haven't experienced. Haii.. Dear confused Matt. -_- I need an enlightenment. I need an inspiration. I need... a miracle.

m.a.t.t.
天网恢恢, 疏而不漏...

`happenings

2007-01-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

I don't really look forward to this year anymore. I don't really see the purpose of doing things so eagerly and enthusiastically, which in the end, ends up misplaced or thrown aside. Don't get me started.

There are... problems. They exist in most of us, and most of these "us" do not see the problems. People with secondary four minds? Don't make me laugh. Your maturity is merely that of a 3 year old, and you probably don't know 'coz you're still in wonderland playing with your queen of hearts. Making you understand will just fuel the flames of miscommunication and misconception. So just shut up, and don't make yourself look as if you know everything, but in a matter of fact, you're as clueless as a rat stuck in a human's maze.

How critical. Nevertheless, there are such people. And of course, you'll hear, "hey you don't anyhow say me okay?!" Yeah sure. Whoever will admit such foolishness. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm rather sick since I came back from Hong Kong. Well almost everyone thinks it's just a slight cough, and "Oh Matthew, stop being so slack!" Yeah. All you stupid people who just can't be bothered to think. I can't really be bothered to explain my condition either, 'coz the way I see it, it'll just make my entire situation worse.

There's this comprehension passage from today's biweekly test, and it was talking about how we shouldn't be living for the sake of living, 我们应该求生, 不是求死. I don't think I mind looking forward to death, 'coz it's nothing much to be afraid of. What's so good about living anyway. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm suicidal and am going to run onto the road, get hit by a vehicle and die of excess bleeding or something. Or that could just may happen...

Just kidding.

m.a.t.t.
水总有澄清的一天.

`life's boring

2007-01-14T13:40:00.000+08:00

Life's boring. It really is. Now, I can't really make myself blog anymore. It defeats the purpose when I can't access the net whenever I want. It's supposed to act like an online journal, not a chore. Ever since 2007 started, I've been keeping a diary to myself. I guess it's more personal than a blog, and much more accessible. Lol.

Apparently, my sickness isn't over. I'm still coughing, and whenever I cough, my lungs hurt. My chest feels constricted. And my neck feels really tight. Bleh. Self-suffocation. -_- That's so lame. And when I cough, I feel as if I'm gonna collapse. But I'm not. Stupid weird feeling.

Orientation Camp for SJI's just over yesterday. I guess it wasn't that much of a success to me. Enough said. I was feeling really tired after I went back from school. My lower leg muscles were aching, but I have no idea why. So basically I slept at 9.30pm last night. How early. It's a record. Not-so-surprisingly, I woke up at 10.30am today. Haha.

Oh yeah. Roy lent me dvds of HK/Korean/Taiwan serial dramas! Yay to liberation from boredom! A really big thanks. He lent it to me on Friday when I was at camp though. Lol. =P Now finally, I got something to watch to keep me occupied and not collect dust when I have no homework or anything. =D

Okay I don't think I'll update this blog very often now. One, it costs money. Two, I'm not really in a mood to do so. Three, it wastes a little of my time. Four, you think about it. Bleh. I gotta go now. Cya.

m.a.t.t.
The art of thought.

`moody

2007-01-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Hey... I'm blogging now since I have nothing much to do. Lol. Apparently, I'm not using my laptop, but the comp. in the study room here. Hmm.. Oh well.

It has been really long since I last posted. It was like "Happy New Year!". Gahh. I'll try to post more often then. Though it really costs money. It's glad to be finally updating about myself again, and not trapped in some corner. Hehe.

Life has been UNwell. I'm diagnosed with bronchitis by the doctor. o.0 Ookae. So I just got a 2-week MC unfit for physical activities. Stupid lungs. (Oh btw, Weijie, I don't smoke, or breathe from the exhaust pipe.) It's like I got it partly from my dad who has gone over it in HK. Bleh. So... it's contagious, huh. LOL. I missed last week's orientation camp, sadly. So I don't care, and I'm going for this week's. =D It'll be alright, I hope. It's not like I'm gonna be doing menial labour or something...

There's like maths olympiad training after school today so it's kinda dreading and I reached back here at like 4.30pm. Bah. I could have taken more rest and slept in the afternoon. This was also what I intended to do yesterday, which unfortunately, I didn't. 'Coz I was busy rushing an agenda. Lalala...

Tmr's not gonna be fun, I think. There's some briefing at SJI(I) after school tmr for PSFs. Hmm.. Let's see how the school compound there, down Thomson Road, looks like. Hopefully it looks okay. =/ No high hopes here.

I might just change my blogskin someday. Somehow. Somewhere. Lol. I'm trying of course. But you know how I pick skins. I take 1 hour. Oh dear. More money. -.- Okay. That's about it. I gotta go for dinner soon. Cya.

m.a.t.t.
A long wait.

`2007

2007-01-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year 2007!

This is probably my last post before I leave for Singapore this coming evening, and maybe until the end of January when I have time. Sad to say, the next few weeks are going to be really busy due to continuous camps and commitments at school. I can't really spend time here.

Life is going back to 'normal' soon, as I depart HK. No more sleeping at midnights. No more using internet whenever I want. Sigh. It's weird how my brain reacts. For one, I want to go back so that I can see my dear friends again. On the other hand, honestly, I don't really want to study, or go back to the hostel and school. I contradict myself.

Looking back at 2006, there are indeed many things that had happened. There are simply too many to be listed. Yet every moment and experience, bliss or sorrow, is etched deeply in memory. Some things my slowly ebb away in time, but some will remain there as long as it can. Figments of the past flash across my mind, and somehow everything seems fine, even if they reflect a poor image of someone, somewhere, something.

Time flies. And a new year is beginning. No matter how short I want life to be, it still has a long way to go from now. I know that I don't have an exact goal in mind, nor do I have anything that I want to accomplish. But I still have to face reality and go on. Dreaming of ways to die early and painless, isn't exactly authentic. Let's get a grip, and take a new perspective of life.

m.a.t.t.
喜怒不形于色...

`quiz

2006-12-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Bleh. I still have pimples on my face...

2. What will you be thinking about at this time tomorrow?
Dang. I'm going back to Singapore today, and school's reopening in 2 days.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
"Four"? Let's go on to the "four"-th question.

4. Favorite planet?
Any planet besides Earth. Seriously, Earth's kinda ruined with global warming and all.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
I have no missed calls.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Nothing in particular.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A white quiksilver t-shirt. I like. =D

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Label as in...? "Stupid" or something?

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
I'm not wearing any shoes right now, but I have Nike somewhere.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Depends what I'm doing. Bright when I'm using my comp. etc. and dark when I'm sleeping, or need to curdle in a corner.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
-you know what you are- Lol.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you choose?
Push one bed next to the other and use both beds!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching tv with my parents. Playing cards as well.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile phone say?
Roy: "Haha... Blogger is being stupid now cos it keeps having error while I'm posting photos..."

15. Where is your letter box?
I don't have a letter box.

16. What's a word that you say a lot seriously?
Weijie says "Whatever."

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
No idea. No recollection.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
A white jellyfish toy thing. It's furry, cute and has 2 blushes on his face!

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
-_-0 Why don't you ask me how many people I killed.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Me get developed? I'm human. Not a camera.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
15! I love 15!

22. Your worst enemy ever?
No one in particular I guess.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Hush. A black wallpaper with a girl holding an umbrella in the rain. Emo.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
My mum: "Morning."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take?
A million bucks. I can go sightseeing the world with my friends!

26. Do you like someone?

Maybe.

27. The last song you listened to?
Fergalicious by Fergie.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?

I would. But if the bullet can pierce through me, then there's no point, 'coz it'd kill him too.

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?

I'm not pissed now.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
My right foot.

m.a.t.t.
精神崩溃...

`sick

2006-12-30T11:50:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah!! I can finally see all tagboards! ^^ Now to update myself on all the different things that're happening.. Hmm.. From Action City to Death Note and Christmas.. I sure missed a lot of things. Haha..

Another thing I miss, is my good health. -ugh- I'm down with sore throat, flu and cough. Why now?! It's so irritating to get sick when the year's ending, or when I'm going back to S'pore. -_-0 The whole house is sick, all 'coz my dad got it first. Tsk.

Anyway, I just finished my differentiation w/s thing. *phew* Hopefully I only remember this homework. Hmm.. Not that I remember I forgot anything. Yay to end of homework 2006. Boo to beginning of homework 2007. xD

[edit] -.- Suddenly I can't read tagboards. -ugh-

m.a.t.t.
潜移默化

97781890

2006-12-29T15:20:00.000+08:00

Join all the numbers of your answers together and link them to form an 8-digit number and put it in the subject line.

1st digit; default: 9

2nd digit; marital status: 3 + 4 = 7

[A little weird, but yes.]
1 - Single but not available
2 - Attached
3 - Confused
4 - Single
5 - Attached and Happy
6 - Crush but you know you're going to get together
7 - Taken and in love
8 - Want someone just don't know who
9 - Have a crush
0 - Just dating

3rd digit; current mood: 1 + 6 = 7 (again)

[Pissed with my bro for using a roll of wrapping paper and hitting everything in the house. Bored for not being able to go online.]
1 - Pissed
2 - Sad
3 - Confused
4 - Afraid
5 - Excited
6 - Bored
7 - Happy
8 - Sleepy
9 - Stressed
0 - Depressed

4th digit; color of your shirt: 1 + 7 = 8

[It's not exactly black + white = grey. The grey has a little blue-ness, while the shirt is patched with black grey and white. The number can't be 13, right?]
1 - Black
2 - Yellow
3 - Orange
4 - Pink
5 - Blue
6 - Green
7 - White
8 - Brown
9 - Purple
0 - Red

5th digit; birth month: 1

[How can the months be joined together. No fair! February is good enough to be on its own...]
1 - January/February
2 - March
3 - April
4 - May
5 - June/July
6 - August
7 - September
8 - October
9 - November
0 - December

6th digit; favourite color: 8

[Orange! ^^]
1 - Black
2 - White
3 - Pink
4 - Blue
5 - Other
6 - Purple
7 - Yellow
8 - Orange
9 - Red
0 - Green

7th digit; favourite sport: 9

[I'm not a sporty person. But the only sport that I'm okay at, is probably swimming. Lol.]
1 - Soccer
2 - Basketball
3 - Wrestling
4 - Baseball/Softball
5 - Cheerleading
6 - Football
7 - Volleyball
8 - Lacrosse
9 - Swimming/Waterpolo
0 - Motocross

Last digit; star sign: 0

[Why merge so many different options. =x]
1 - Aries
2 - Leo
3 - Sagittarius
4 - Taurus
5 - Capricorn
6 - Gemini
7 - Libra
8 - Aquarius
9 - Cancer/Virgo
0 - Scorpio/Pisces

97781890. You realise there are no numbers here existing from 2 to 6. What "luck". And the this 8-digit number's weird too. Boredom kills. Oh well. This quiz seems to be making me choose a new handphone number. LOL.

m.a.t.t.
变态狂.

`slowed

2006-12-29T14:45:00.000+08:00

I didn't blog yesterday, 'coz I was too tired and it was 12.30am. What a yester-day. As I mentioned the day before, I was going to Ocean Park with my mum and bro. -_-0 The place was crowded like some shit. I couldn't believe that it will even hinder the traffic that we had to alight 1km away and walk to the Park. -.- Stupid.

Photoshot with Mr. Dolphin. LOL.

Then when we got there, the ticket booth queue was like wow-there's-100-people-in-front-of-me. Just entering the place took us 1 hour. So much for going early. Then there was the long queue (again) at the cable-car to the other side of the Park. Let's say it took us 30min. Oh dear. The place was truly packed like sardines. Bleh.

Overview of Ocean Park from cable-car.

The people. The horror.

We didn't go and play those roller coasters and stuff, 'coz the queues were effing long. (Okay everything needs us to queue.) -_- So in the end, we just decided to go see galleries. Like the jellyfish museum thing. Lol. Then there was the Souvenir shop that I bought quite a lot of things. =P

Lunch was at 3pm. Even though we queued at 2pm. Dumb queues. All the food outlets had queues of more than 100 people. Especially MacDonald's. At least it made me full. Bleh. After lunch was the Atoll Reef gallery where there's many fish from the sea and reef. It's pretty cool. I think I really like the stingrays. Haha..

Then we rushed to the performance arena of trained dolphins and seals which we couldn't get seats anymore. So we just stood outside the railings. It wasn't that bad either. =( I didn't take any pictures at all 'coz I was busy watching the show. But it's good enough to be in my memories.. Lol.

Life cannot be any worse without a proper internet. I still can't read tagboards. I realised I can't access the msn. I still can't tag other people's tagboards. -ugh- But the earthquake in Taiwan can't be any more devastating, by wrecking the people in Taiwan before New Year. It's like a coincidence. 2 years ago, the earthquake in Indonesia caused tsunamis and killed many. Now another earthquake happens, effecting the world's telecommunications. =/

Anyway, my dad tried to install McAfee in my laptop yesterday. It was screwing up my comp just now and this post has taken me more than an hour. So I uninstalled it. Stupid console. At least my comp. is not functioning like a snail. Whatever.

Oh yea.. Did I mention about me getting a new pair of specs? Lol. It's not bad I guess. But I haven't gotten used to it yet 'coz it's a thick frame. Haha.. Catch me wearing it next year.. Apart from this, I took an influenza injection at a clinic a few days ago. Oh well. It's still aching till yesterday. Hmm.

I wanna go online!

m.a.t.t.
只剩3天...

`tremors

2006-12-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

Oh dear. Due to the recent (or rather yesterday's) earthquake in Taiwan, the area's lines and what-so-ever's affected. Hongkong's not spared, I guess. When I access the net, I can't see my dear tagboard that updates me. Besides the omg-really-slow speed, I can't play the online games. Then, every website, including blogger, is screwing up. BAHH.

Since no one's talking to me (rather no one can communicate with me), I might as well talk to myself. o.o

Matthew A: Hi.

Matthew B: -_-0 Don't make me laugh.

Matthew A: *pokes tummy* "HAHA"...

Matthew B: ... ...

Umm. Lol. Getting a lil too high on boredom. Anyway, today's not bad without the comp. actually. =P Due to the influence of the recent serial drama here (about poker and "showhand"), I was playing Showhand with my bro. It's kinda like we're gambling... but with fake money. Money from... Game of Life. LOL. It might sound funny, but we really did play it in the late morning. Hehe..

After lunch came a movie that I went with my bro, who's on Christmas/New Year school holiday. Eragon, it is. My bro was exclaiming all the way from the cinema till we reached home about how great/fantastic/bravo the movie was. I can't explain how disappointed I am. =( Rating: 6/10

1. I thought it'd be a 2-hour movie at the least. No, it was 1.5 hours.

2. Details between Eragon and Brom are considered more essential and interesting than showing his cousin leaving, even though his cousin has a big part to play in the next sequel.

3. The "big" battle in the mountains was gone so fast (and dark) that it didn't seem like the extremes of the world of Alagaesia was fighting.

4. Murtagh's character is weird. Enough said.

Guess what? I'm going to Ocean Park tmr...! Lol. I'd say it's a much better choice to Disneyland. And my mum was saying there's a lot of cute soft toys there. (Mini ones.) Lalala.. ~~Hopefully my dad doesn't come along.~~ Erm yea. Hopefully I have a good time there~ Tata. Hope you guys have fun too!

m.a.t.t.
反目成仇...

`quizzies

2006-12-27T00:15:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: February 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.
Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.
You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.
Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.

Your strength: Your attention to detail

Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes

Your power color: Turquoise

Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up

Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your EQ is 120

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm
You are often held up by others as the ideal
But too much of you, and they'll get burned

You are best known for: your warmth

Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

You Are 60% Shy

Although you live a pretty normal life, you tend to be a fairly shy person.
Many situations make you feel uncomfortable, and you sometimes find your shyness hindering your life.

How Shy Are You?

m.a.t.t.
uhh... yea. fyi. (and the font's screwed.)

`mind-boogling

2006-12-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

X'mas is over... really quick. I guess some things can and can't be fulfilled. I wanted a pair of shoes, which I didn't decide fast enough and lost it in the end. I half-heartedly wanted a DVD, yet I got it in the end. I have no intention of hiking down a mountain on Boxing Day, but I did.

True enough, ~~by demand~~ upon request of my mum, I hiked down from Ngong Ping 360 (you know... the big buddha stature in HK) down to Tung Chung in HK Island. Honestly, I didn't want to. But oh well, I hafta go. It was quite good actually. I got to see some nice sceneries, and even the entire airport (though shrouded heavily by fog)... Haha.

It's pretty steep. Really. (And a hat to cover my head.)

I said something about getting a haircut, yea? -ugh- I feel bald.

Things are going well I guess. Although... my mum told me not to use the computer tomorrow, lest I divert my bro's attention from doing homework, and even told me to do my homework. So I must blog today! Even though I can only use until before midnite, which I promised to go to sleep. Hehe..

This F-S relationship is really screwed up.

Anyway, as I said, I watched 满城尽带黄金甲 yesterday. What did I think...? Rating: 8/10 I might have been influenced to not watch "Golden Flower" by Kenny, if I weren't persistent enough to watch one of the 2 movies I'll be watching over here. Bleh. Though as I thought Zhang Yimou's movies are mostly based on special effects, and that the story's not rich enough, it's not bad. Really. A little unexpected, as Ronney put it. What I like, is the littlest details that the movie offered, such as the appearance of the ex-queen.

Both Gong Li and Chow Yun Fat's acting is unmistakably fantastic. Gong Li's um... 'messy' acting was really "Gong Li". =P *applause* Haha.. And as undeniable as Jay Chou can be, he can continue to mumble from his songs to the movies he play his part in. One thing that I didn't really like about the movie, was the extra colours put on the walls of the halls in the palace. It kinda threw me off, together with how many only-zhang-yimou-knows hallways. Lol. Oh and I liked the song too..

Time for me to go to bed... Cya on Thursday. ^^

m.a.t.t.
菊花台

`x'mas

2006-12-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

Wish everyone a Merriest X'mas~! Haha.. Yay. I made the wish at 12mn. ^^

Anyway, these few days have been oh-so-well, I suppose. Although I didn't manage to get the orange and black shoes from Adidas after all, my mum bought me The Devil Wears Prada DVD!! =D Haha.. Then, the family's gonna watch 满城尽带黄金甲 tmr...! Lol. Let's see how it is..

Anyway, I watched a couple of movies on VCD, like Inside Man (which my mum wanna watch, so she bought it). My mum even bought Closer and Just like Heaven. I'm kinda interested in Closer I guess. Haha... Watchin' them soon.

Tear-inducing 一公升眼泪's screening here on Sundays at 10.30pm. It just ended not long ago. It's really touching I think. My mum was telling me how she didn't want to watch because it was too touching that she'll cry. I made her watch a little..., and she really teared. ='( Tell you guys more next time.

I better go get a bath. Tmr's a good day... I hope. I'm getting a haircut too. Lol. =D Cya guys soon! Merry Christmas, everyone~! ^^"

m.a.t.t.
2006年的圣诞

`bored

2006-12-20T15:20:00.001+08:00

Yes, I'm bored. I got nobody to talk to. ): Hmm.. If this continues, I'm gonna hafta going to do homework! Gahh!!.. I don't want to. I suppose no one wants to anyway. For the past 2 hours, I was on deviantART, browsing pictures and arts from the "popular" section, +faving a whole lot more too. Haha.. I do have an account okay!... with lots of faves and 1 scrap art. LOL.

Yay to me 'coz I'm going out with my mum later this evening and buy me a Christmas gift! Hahaha.. Apparently, I had my eyes on this umm... pair of shoes from Adidas. Guess what. Orange and black! ^^ Hope they still have stock... Oh well.

I realised using Firefox is a li'l faster than Int. Explorer. Both are of latest versions, and both have the tabs function. I dunno. I'm using Firefox now. It loads the internet pages faster than Explorer. Hmm... Let's see how it goes for the next week. (Explorer's getting laggier.)

Movies. Movies. Movies. I need them! Eragon's out. 满城尽带黄金甲's out. But I've got no one to watch with. =( Hopefully I can watch it with my parents or something. Hehe.. Bleh. Then next on my list I have: Charlotte's Web, Pan's Labyrinth, and 门徒 (Protege). Ah well. I don't think I'm able to watch that many.

Tmr's the day. The day to make... cookies! Lol. My mum told my maid to make cookies, and me and my bro will be helping out. Haha. [Define "help out".] Wait till she does the dough and we will be doing the cookie shapes. LOL. Maybe I can learn.. I'll see about that. =D

m.a.t.t.
等... 等着... 等着你.

`back

2006-12-17T18:45:00.000+08:00

I'm back!~.. from Zhuhai to Hongkong that is. Apparently, my dad was too sick to go with us. So, the 3 of us went on our own by ship. According to my mum, we came on a tour package by Wing On Travel Agency (or something like that). Lol. So we can only follow the tour guide and wherever he brings us.

After we left the ship in the morning, we went straight to a made-up Mongol place called 蒙古村. I really doubted its authenticity 'coz my mum was saying how common the set-up of such small villages in China was. Basically, they just wanted us to buy their products 马奶粉 and 牛初乳片. I didn't buy their idea, literally.

Next stop was to 濠江锯记. A place that sells some local delicacies (or rather snacks) such as biscuits and bak kwa. We bought a lot of stuff there. LOL. Especially bak kwa. There were like so many different tastes (weird.) so my mum just let me choose. =D

After lunch, we went to watch a performance which I found really cruel. This group of people made use of children who are half our (or my) age to perform really daring stunts, that I thought it actually threatened the lives of these children. *tears* Didn't like it. X(

In this unsettling mood, we go onto the bus and went straight to the hotel at 海泉湾. It's really nice... and it's a 5-star hotel! Lol. Anyway, we didn't follow the rest of the group who went out of the hotel and eat somewhere away from the area. Instead, we ate a buffet dinner at the hotel restaurant. I guess the food's so-so. But my bro just kept eating the pasta/spaghetti of sort, which he claimed it was really nice. Ah well.

A show was up at the Illusion Theater 梦幻剧场 near the hotel, as booked by the tour, called 海边的梦. So we went to watch it right after dinner. It was awesome~! Haha.. Sadly, they didn't allow us to take photos. It was like a stunt/dance performance done in a little story. Cool. ^^

La de dum. La de daa. The next day we finished breakfast and went to walk around outside the hotel. It was kinda boring, so since we got nothing to do, we just went around and take pictures.

Apparently, we decided we didn't want to follow the tour anymore because it was gonna be wasting our time. The schedule in the afternoon was really dumb and we weren't interested. Thus, we follow this 2 couples and left for the harbour there. Reached Hongkong at 4+. Yay.

m.a.t.t.
闪烁着一道光芒...

`away

2006-12-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm. This is kinda typed in a rush, 'coz I gotta go pack my stuff. Haha.. I'm off to Zhu Hai 珠海, Guangzhou, with my family. Yay, it's getting cold! =D Lol. It'll be down to 12deg~ But gahh. Everyone in the family is down with cold. Except me. ... ... And I've got a feeling I'm getting it. It better not come to me. I don't wanna get sick in the cold weather!

Nothing much have been happening lately. Apparently, I can't rmb any homework, besides differentiation. And I've been on Exercise 1 since Tuesday. LOL. Nevermind. I'm going to totally-not-bother-about-them for 2 days. Uhh. Yeah.

I'm feeling quite pissed. I don't like it. Don't like him.

Well, I learned quite a few things here too. Like making the vcr/dvd player work, which no one in the house knows how to make it work. Hopefully it's good. Hehe.. I just recorded this 大结局 episode of a HK serial drama. Wee~.. I'm gonna watch it once I get back. Loves HK serial drama! Can't wait to borrow Roy's 金枝玉孽! Lend me! (once I get back)

-running out of things to say- Haha.. Okay I better go do my packing now. Update on Monday. ^^ Oh yea. Can't wait to talk to Kenny (17 Dec) and Junjie (19Dec). Lol. What are friends for? To talk~! xD

m.a.t.t.
[朋友. 挚友.]

`quiz

2006-12-12T13:45:00.000+08:00

Ah yes. The afternoon. -_- My mum told me to do my homework. Gahh. Anyway, I'll do this quiz before I take my leave, from Ronn's blog.

~~Best:~~No best friends yet, not that fortunate.
1) Close male friend: Roy, Kev, Ken
2) Close female friend: Seriously, none. Just female friends.
3) Best vacation: Umm. The closest to best is probably the Shanghai trip in June. With friends! =D

Worst:
1) time of the day: 4pm. Warm and boring. (subjected to change)
2) day of the week: None.
3) food: spicy stuff. Bleh.
4) memory: I won't remember it since it's already the worst. -_-0

Last:
1) person you saw in school: The last time I was in school was during Koto. So... that's a lot of people, and no last person.
2) talked on the phone: My mum. Reminding me to do my homework. -.-
3) texted: I can't use my phone to sms - no roaming.
4) person you instant messaged: Junjie. Who went to Korea~

Today:
1) what are you doing now: Blogging. Watching tv. Eating apple.
2) wearing: PSF shirt, track pants. I don't think you need to know any further.
3) where have you been to: Nowhere. I've been at home since I woke up.

Tomorrow:
1) is: Wednesday. The middle of the week.
2) got any plans: Not really. Watch tv! LOL.
3) goal: Able to finish my homework? o.0
4) likes about tomorrow: I don't really look forward to tmr.

Favourite:
1) number: 26. My birthday!
2) song: 孙燕姿之雨天
3) movies: The Devil Wears Prada!! Inside Man, Monster-in-Law
4) colour: Orange~

Currently:
1) missing: my friends! ):
2) mood: bored. Really. I've got nothing much to do, but homework.
3) wanting: a pencilbag... But I just can't find a nice one. Bleh.

10 people to do it:
Whoever's interested, do it.

m.a.t.t.
[思念...]

`plain weird

2006-12-11T14:00:00.000+08:00

Here I am, blogging before lunch. Quite a lot of things have happened over the past few days. Some gets me irritated, some gets me going -_-0...

Basically yesterday was boring. Real boring. Partly because my dad and bro's down with flu, so we can't go anywhere. -.- Then when I wanna use the internet on the comp, it's so slow! The modem is always busy somehow.. Okay I'm using this opportunity here to play some mmorpgs, so I was playing this game called Regnum Online. -ugh- I got disconnected from the game 4 times in an hour. Wth. Anyway, I'm playing another game, Eudemons Online. Trying it out. Yea.

Since I'm "wasting my time" again, my mum dragged me along with her to do a face treatment thingy. I don't like it, even if it treats the pimples on my face. -_- It only temporarily treats them, and they will come back and ruin my face again. Then, it worsens the texture of my skin. Yuck. And now, my face's red and all. Bahh.

Dinner. I hate that stupid restaurant. It's called 心粥馆 at Jordan. Wa, the waiters and waitresses smoke like there's no tmr there. And they like to attitude with the customers. Like what your problem, you don't treat your customers like that. Anyway, when they were cleaning up the table, they even flung some leftover porridge onto my mum. -_- Stupid.

Haii. What a day. Ah well.. At least I had time on msn last night. Haha.. Chatted with Junjie whom I didn't chat for a really long time. It's great to talk about past stuff. =D But he's off to Korea today. Less people to talk these days.

想? 奢想? 妄想?

m.a.t.t.
[陈年旧事.]

`surprise

2006-12-09T12:30:00.000+08:00

I finally found time to update! Haha.. Basically, I was supposed to go to Hong Kong Disneyland with my family today..., but my dad and bro's down with flu. Ahh well. I'm not really into disney anyway. On the other hand, I think Ocean Park's not bad. Definitely better than disneyland.

So yes, 2 days ago, my mum made me go down to the gym with her. This means I did PT. -_- Let's see, I ran 2.4, did situps, some sorta pull thingy and leg lifts. I continue to surprise myself by doing physical. Lol. If I'm not wrong, my mum wants me to go down again some time this coming week. Ermm.. yea.

As for yesterday, I was out the whole day~ Hahaha.. My mum brought me to Ngong Ping 360 to see the world's (or asia's. I'm not sure.) largest Buddha stature. I suppose it's pretty... cool. We took the most opted form of transport there - Cable Car. It was so cool! I could see the entire HK airport from (somewhere) up there.. Lol. I think the entire trip up somewhere there was 20min. Lalala... The only problem was the sun. It's winter season, and it's hot like S'pore. =="

Talking about the heat, I'm wearing short-sleeved shirts here now. Which is not supposed to be the case... It's winter. Winter = cold freezing weather. Not hot sweaty weather. -ugh- I hate the heat when I thought I could spend my holidays in the cold. *smirk* I can't wait for 冬至 to come... It's said to be the coldest day in the entire year. 21st I think.

心里有许多的说不出
荡漾了许久许久
隐藏得深远深远

无法讲出的事情
不为人知的秘密
压得连心都要崩溃了

阴雨连绵的一天
他到底在渴望些什么?

m.a.t.t.
[what's hidden behind that face...?]

`焕然一新

2006-12-06T11:00:00.000+08:00

I made myself to change my blogskin. From the snows and frost, to the ethereal eternity. Heh.. This skin is actually about Mika Nakashima from a movie called 'Nana' I think. Well, for one, she's quite nice-looking. Lol. For two, I like the plain-ness of this skin. Simplicity~ ^^

There ain't much happening to me today. I think I'm going out for shopping later though. HAHA. So, I woke up and ate breakfast (like duh~). And surprisingly, I did 20 situps. Yea. It's kinda weird, 'coz I did it on my bed. There ain't much space, you know. (Yes thank you Ronney I did something physical here.) Maybe I'll try to do more later.. Who knows.

I kinda found out how stupid I am. Lol. Okay maybe not stupid. But it's like I wanna remember my dreams, and I can't. -_-0 They are not nightmares, but pleasant dreams. Things that'll not happen in the next million years. Uhh, yea. The last one I remember, as I had said earlier, was having a pair of angel wings. Painful when they grew out from my shoulder blades. -.-

Bahh. The temperature here is getting warmer. Dumb weather. It's supposed to get cooler, not warmer. And some dumb thought of mine told me that Hong Kong will snow in the next 10 years. Dream on, kid. It's more like Beijing won't get snow in 10 years' time. Only the weather knows.. I wonder what DD (Doom's Day) will be like. How exciting...

Okay enough of these weird thoughts. Lol. I gotta go out soon. I'll try to update tmr. =D

m.a.t.t.
[世界末日.]

`life

2006-12-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hihi! I shall blog an entry using english, as per requested. It's getting rather emo with the chinese I've been using lately. Anyway, I'm just in Hong Kong now. Feeling great and cool (literally). Haha. But it's already rather warm around here (at 20deg), 'coz it's supposed to be cooler (at 15deg?).. Ah well..

I miss talking to my friends! Now I'm busy on msn with Ken and Roy. =D And this leads me to my point: friends are as important to me as my family. I don't miss a country because of its sights and sounds, but it is the friends that I really care for. Hm.. I'm gonna take pics with (all) my friends next year! Like two-person photos~ (:

Today was a fine day. I'm window shoppin' with my mum these few days.., and I finally bought some things that I really like! Haha.. We went to Bossini (when they had a sale today), and I bought a pair of "I really like this" jeans, a pair of track pants (or so I think), a belt (not leather, thank god), and two pairs of ankle socks. ^^ Yay to me~ Can't wait for more.. LOL.

Oh yeah. I went with my mum yesterday to some centre to renew my permanent resident ID. Then there was this photo-taking session, which the lady there took 2 photos (labelled 1 and 2) and she told me to take another. We kept taking and taking, changing the 2nd photo. In the end, I took 6 photos. Guess what... I still preferred the 1st photo. LOL. The most natural one. She commented that the later photos were getting more and more fake and unnatural. Gahh.

So much for me now.. I'll update again when I can, within this week of course. Smiles everyone! =D

m.a.t.t.
[生命中的快乐时光.]

`庆

2006-12-04T17:00:00.000+08:00

他抵达香港
带着一颗兴奋的心

终于看见许久未见的父母
抱起调皮的弟弟
他回家了

上飞机前
朋友来送机
开心是有的
感动也有的
真想拥抱你们
谢谢！

在飞机上
看了一部地理纪录片
An Inconvenient Truth
虽有无聊的时刻
却带来一种不同的信息
略略把人生的方向转移
希望大家都去看

在飞机上
他反复思考
梦对他实在伤透脑筋
成千上万的梦中
只记得前天的
记得自己获得一双天使翅膀
记得获取之前的痛楚
记得获取了自由
唉

明日再更新
下次再谈话

轩

`隐

2006-12-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

醒了过来
揉揉朦胧的双眼
抬起头往窗外看
阳光镶着一层云

静静地坐在床上
沉默似乎在想什么
脸上渐渐露出一丝微笑
朋友终于回来了

回头把手机捡了起来
意外发现未回复他人
暗自深感歉意
且一一发送了简讯

昨晚果真疲累不堪唉
无可奈何并非他所意

扪心自问
他要快乐？

反复思考
不想抵抗
却只想学会隐藏

轩

`泪

2006-11-30T18:00:00.000+08:00

又是另一天
颇为乐陶陶

无意多嘴说了一些话
反而被某误解得甚深
一点小事成无可奈何
他只能默默承受指责

被形容无法控制乱杂情绪
却未曾想过原由自知之明

算了反正没人了解他
他究竟在等待什么？

敲起心中那个窗户
但只听见空洞冷清
等待盼望一个回应
到头来只遇到孤独

翘望房里的四壁墙
闭上两沉重的眼皮
回想起患得患失的快乐
希望终日能取得平常心

把身体倚靠着书桌
静静哼着几段歌词
脑海涌现以前单纯的回忆
不禁酸酸掉了几滴泪

轩

`呆

2006-11-29T15:00:00.000+08:00

呆呆看这电脑
他深感郁闷
闷闷的一天
常自问为何

被闷气所趋
他拾起桌上的笔
开始绘画半边脸

心血来潮的意念
却带来不必要的惭愧
未完成的面庞
刻印一副狼狈的模样

拉扯着灰白的窗帘
往外眺望蔚蓝天空
仰慕随心所欲的风

但自由又怎样
多次察看手机简讯
只见时间慢慢流失

或许没人能够体谅
他心中阴阴的雨天

未曾体会过的沉闷
未知酝酿着的孤独
朋友迷迷糊糊的存在
他懵懂地等待救援

躺在甚软的床铺上
望着雪白的天花板
风亲亲掠过他的脸
昏沉闭上朦胧双眼

轩

`9.45

2006-11-26T09:45:00.000+08:00

9.45am.
2 weeks ago: What! I woke up so early...
Today: Okay why did I wake up so late?

I just woke up no long ago, yea. It's feeling quite boring again. Oh well. I'll try to use the internet in the afternoon. (I'm blogging this entry on my laptop.) Anyway, I'm feeling quite irritated by what's happening around me, and I have no one to talk to.. Bleh.

Yesterday was really enriching. I helped my aunt move house! It was kinda sian at the start, 'coz I didn't know what to do. But slowly, I started to help wrap up things that need to be moved. Cool. I suppose it's a 'great' exercise, to the fact that I sweated after it.. So the entire morning was spent on wrapping things up and waiting for the moving company to come do the rest. They were pretty.. slow. -.-

After lunch, unpacking ensued at the new house. Gah. It was so messy 'coz the moving company just put everything in the house. I couldn't move around properly to de-wrap the things. But oh well. In the end, we kinda shifted most of the things into the new house into their positions, and waited for the ppl to deliver the plasma tv. The timing they gave to arrive was purely dumb lah. "We'll come between 3pm to 6pm." -_-0 What the hell, 'coz we couldn' predict when it'll arrive. It came at 5pm in the end.

Tired. So.. we went down to the pool and relaxed. Lol. I didn't swim lah, 'coz I didn't feel like it. And it was really cold and my fingers and toes were getting numb. Haha. The pool had a jacuzzi in the middle and I just kinda sat there, waiting for the water to hit me. But after a while, it was painful. Ookae. So I stopped and just sat around. Felt kinda bored.

Nothing much for the rest of the day. We went back up, bathed, left for dinner, and I just came back. Oh, and Tampines Mall is scary. The mass of people moving around is so big that I can't move around without getting pushed. I didn't like it. At least I don't get pushed by people in HK.

Today's another day to play games on my comp. Shucks. I'm gonna try to use the internet/msn this afternoon. So if you see this post up on my blog, you'll know I've been online. Haha. If not, this post might just be quite late. I need to use msn! I desperately need to talk. -ugh-

m.a.t.t.
[engulfed in the abyss of bitterness.]

`yay

2006-11-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

Okay I'm trying to blog as often as I can. Haha. Oh well.. I'm typing this on my laptop, then transfer to the pc thru the thumbdrive. Save time and money from internet usage. =P It's a good idea technique. Hahah..

Anyway, today's not bad. Really. Though the morning was really dreadful: I woke up separately at 6am, 7am, 8am and 9am. It's kinda stupid, 'coz my roommates were waking up at different times. I'm a very light sleeper as you see. Haii. It has good and bad points to that. Then I decided to wake up at 10am, played the comp. for a while, and went to brush up before I actually set off for Vivocity.

Yes I went to Vivocity today! Haha.. My first time, yea. When I was reaching there, Kuanhuai was actually a train behind mine. Lol. Then, Kevin sms-ed me that the rain was heavy and he'll wait for it to stop before he did anything. -_-0 Whatever. So we had to wait for him until 12.40 before we actually did anything as well. Unamusingly, GV Vivo was crowded, while the movie timings were too late (thus unfavourable) for us. Gahh.

So we decided to discuss what to do next over lunch, at oh-so-expensive Burger King. I paid $6.80, for a $6.30 meal I can get outside, there. BLEH. Irritating. Robing me of my money... Anyway, we went to the Cathay in the end. Another first for the day. I've never been to the Cathay. Haha. And yay! there weren't many people there. We then caught a 2.15pm movie: A Battle of Wits "墨攻"

Rating: 8/10 It's really nice! The graphics for the movie were awesome. Then I really liked the story line, 'coz I didn't expect it at all... Thrilling. But I find it irritating for the movie to include modern dialogues and scenes, just like The Banquet. Oh well.. And I find it really sad for the Prince of Liao to die, his character was pretty cool. I suppose it would be better to develop him.. Haha.

After the movie, we didn't have anything to do, so we made Kevin lead our way to Marina Square. LOL. Well, he didn't know how to go..., and we played along with him. =P No offence Kevin. Haha.. Anyway, we walked to Plaza Sing., then all the way to Marina Square. Window shopping~ Then we understood that Kevin doesn't shop properly, 'coz he thinks about other stuff and kinda stones as he walks. -.-

To the funny part: we made a consensus to buy Kevin new clothes! His shirt and pants are really in-need-of-change. Colour combi was weird and pants were too formal, like that of SJAB pants. Ookae. So yes, we have made a decision, to shop clothes for Kevin next time! Hahaha... You better wear them when we buy them for you.

Okay that's about it. Such an enriching day, though I was kinda tired. =D Anyway, I'm going to help my aunt move house tmr, so yay to less boredom again! Lalala... Till next time.

m.a.t.t.
[nothing much, really.]

`getting used to

2006-11-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

Hey all... Lol. I'm at the hostel now. Well, I'm posting from the study room there. I'll try not to use the internet too long - it's charging at a rate of I-have-no-idea-how-much. Bleh.

Life's been pretty... boring so far. People, ask me out quick! =P I have nothing better to do, besides going for training. Rahh.. I'm supposed to go for training today..., until I was told it was cancelled at 12mn ytd. -_- Please give me a more detailed explanation for the cancellation. I'm quite irritated for "some team conflict" as a reason.

I cancelled my lunch booking at the hostel. And since I'm not going for training, I won't be going out for lunch. -.- So I had to force myself to go out for lunch, and walk around aimlessly. Before lunch, I went to top up my ez-link card. After that, I went to ~~Borders~~ Boreders to buy newspapers and read books. BORING. Now I'm back at the hostel. -_-0

Thankfully, I'm going out tmr. I can't wait! Ahh! Gonna go out with Kev and Kuanhuai.. Wee. Less boredom. More friend-time. Yay! Anyway, I'm gonna go to Hong Kong next week.. So yay for lesser boredom! Lol.

Okay that's for now. I don't have much to say anyway. Yay to me for getting more used to the environment here. Haha.. Till next time when I find an opportunity to blog again. See ya.

m.a.t.t.
[in need of hanging-out.]

`weird

2006-11-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

Okay I'm officially moving into a hostel.. Yes. But I'll probably have no internet access I think. Ahh well. I'll just have to wait until I go to Hong Kong at 3 Dec. Bleh. I think it's gonna suck without internet/msn.

My dad just subscribed broadband... But god knows when it'll be delivered and installed. =/ All the best to me~ Fyi, I'm still at my guardian's. Sleeping at the hostel tonight. Oh well.

m.a.t.t.
[just weird.]

`extremity

2006-11-16T20:30:00.000+08:00

我也有我的极限
你不必跟我耍这种花样
被我猜中了你就说我空口说白话
这实在太可笑了

既然已经到此地步我就坦白告诉你
你的废话堆积如山根本就像堆垃圾
我没必要继续听也不必向你解释
看来你是在挑拨离间话尖酸了话刻薄了
既然如此我就跟你一齐玩这个游戏

你说的话影响很大很极端很苛刻
你叫我闭嘴我就闭嘴
但我就说完以下的

处处在针对我的你我厌了
我也走投无路
下次我就不去了
废话听多会使我脏了耳
无聊的举动作多浪费精力浪费时间
我也不觉得我会有何贡献

你苛刻的言语
令我无法继续与你共存
我不觉得我有什么能‘帮’你的
甚至不值得帮
如果你是觉得我根本只是个问题
那我也不想跟着这个队伍了

跟着只带来痛楚伤害失望
不跟也罢免得我继续痛苦下去

谁能体谅我的雨天

轩

丢了一份不值得的友情
忘了一份曾经的拥有
各走各的
走出彼此的世界

`yes its your problem

2006-11-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

I've decided to blog again, 'coz I just got nothing to do, no one to talk to, and am very bored. I'm gonna blog less for the next week or so I think, since I'll take some time to get a broadband modem at the hostel.

Okay I bet you're all curious about "hostel". Yes I'm moving in a hostel by this Saturday. Don't get shocked or anything. I'm letting it sink into me, so you should sink that in too. It's gonna be quite another major change in my life. I've got nothing much to say about it anyway. When life goes on, you just have to play along and adapt.

It ain't gonna be the same for me, not until the end of my O Levels. But you see, it depends on the JC I go to. Bleh. I'll just see how life goes. I can't sit and cry right? Haha. You might just say, "Yes!" I wish I could. Things have gone well now, as it has picked up this week.

But it's just very confusing why unnecessary things keep popping up. I don't have to mention it like here. I don't see the need to. ~~(Though I just did the previous post.)~~ But hey, I'm gonna have to endure this situation for the next year, and maybe even after that. I need to keep quiet and not make a fuss at this time of the year. It ruins my mood.

If you don't practise what you preach, you can't pinpoint me why I'm not putting myself in your shoes. Get a life. I'm not your random board for you to throw your darts at. Stop hounding me. And one more thing, I'm sick of talks.

m.a.t.t.
[Just in case you didn't understand.]

`what's ur problem 3

2006-11-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Last but not least,

Tired. REAL tired.
This scene is reported to have taken after the camp in the LT1.

That's about it for PSLTC 2006. Phew. I guess it's been a really long way up till today. Seeing these Sec2s growing up and maturing through the camp, it kinda reminds me of myself and my group (coincidentally Kaikua'ana as well) last year. But we don't really contact each other anymore. Though 2 of which have become PSFs. Haii.

以下不是什么炫耀华语的文字。
这，是我发泄的地方。
今天我已经感觉到悲哀，堕落，沮丧和厌倦了。

你一而再，再而三地激怒我。
难道只有你会觉得遇到坎坷与挫折吗？
整天在那儿说我的长短，批评我的各方面的不是，责备我不会把自己从你的角度看事情。
我受够了。我受够你的废话。我已奈何不了你长篇大论的谈判。
废话听多了，我不会心烦气躁吗？
我宁愿你好好去应付现今所面临的问题，也不要你处处针对我！
是，我是比其他人多嘴，直接，挑出种种问题。那又如何？
我不是瞄射牌，任由你随随便便丢射你所谓‘问题’的飞镖。
我也是有极限的。别逼得我走投无路。

你，不像他如此糟糕。但也不值一提。
我不想再听你无聊的废话。
毕竟你们俩是头，我也不要说太多。
但是最终，你俩空口无凭，口是心非，说一套，做另一套。
哈，你想说：我们彼此彼此吗？随你的。
你们可否知道，你们未受过我任何尊敬，甚至不值得。

话非说完。我可没忘记你。你也许是与问题的‘根’有关。
废话少说，你从头到尾都未完成或遵守你职务范围所要求的任务。
除了失望，我想我也不能说些什么。
我也不想因你而逼自己写出投诉，我只会在浪费我宝贵的时间。
也许你也该反省反省，扪心自问。

最后，只剩下你了。妄我以为你一向很精通这门‘武艺’。
其实你只不过只把这份工作当成儿戏。
你醒醒！你以为我们耍你吗？
废话。我们做的可是真经事。你现今的态度，我无法容忍。
除非你去好好反省，我看来，就算你受过多少训练，你也不会前进到哪儿去。

话已经要说到这种地步。我也不要再讲下去。
你有能耐看透我这番话语，你就随便看吧。
但你不看，我也不必向你解释。

就此停止，余言后叙。

m.a.t.t.
[百感交集，无法阻挡。]

`what's ur problem 2

2006-11-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

Continuation from the previous post on PSLTC 06!

Kaikua'ana looking really tired (I think) after a game.. Oh well.

Uh. PSFs... playing with candles, pingpongs and spoons. -_-0

Kaikua'ana! Ain't it hawaiian-styled? It's really cool.
(And there's even the camp motto there.) You guys rock! =P

PSLs getting high~ on songs.. Loved it.

Big assets from Show Time. -_-0

PSL shirts ready to be worn~ Lol..
I like the blur effects behind.

Weijie probably stuck for that second.
Slow-mo-ed. Loves the effects!

Cropped Kaikua'ana photo~ Closed-up. Love ya'all~!
(you missed this, Ian.)

m.a.t.t.
[kaikua'ana once more!]

`what's ur problem

2006-11-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

Hey! Yes, I'm back from PSLTC 2006. Oh god, I'm still tired from it. The lack of sleep kills. Anyway, I guess the camp did turn out.. so-so. Not that I didn't expect it. It could've been better.

I'm so not gonna elaborate on the camp, 'coz seriously, I can't be bothered to list down the one-thousand-and-one things that I did. I'll just show you some photos~ (Those on some of the photos.. don't get offended.. =P)

Wires~ Lol. Rather... messy.

Kaikua'ana on the 1st day.. Abit stiff.

Yes... The PSFs busy messing with supper...

Kaikua'ana at Hands Feet Butts game. Yep, they're my group~ And that's weijie's irritating hand. -.-"

Weijie, Roth and Zhenhe. Weijie said he was looking gay. Ookae..

Umm. A really nice pose by Jiao Hui.. =P

Sharing some intimate moments.. (Tim and JH) Lol.

Okay now blogger doesn't allow me to put up any more photos. -_- I'll put it up on the next post. =D

m.a.t.t.
[kaikua'ana!]

`rain

2006-11-09T21:00:00.000+08:00

雨天 / 孙燕姿

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走我却只想回头
除了你给的伞
我再也没有
别的借口去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决你却越来越远

牵手和分手
来自同一双手
做回朋友
我却为何不懂挽留

是否太晚路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

This is probably my first time posting properly, ever since November started. I should be okay, for now. I mean, I'm really frustrated with the things happening around me. And these 'things' just keep popping out one after another. I feel so indignant to solve them. Rahh.

雨天。谁都有雨天。然而，雨天对每个人来说，都全然不同。我的雨天，惟有我只身面对。无论是绵绵细雨或是狂风暴雨，大概没有人会了解。而你，就别不懂却装懂似的来深表同情，并且安慰我。“天无绝人之路”，对，但是我也需要时间来适应，反省，参透。我不是什么神妙的超人。你敢说你未曾遇过雨天吗？

God knows what I'm thinking. I'm stupid. Ya.

Today was rather boring again. There was a PSF Spirits Comm Meeting in the morning at the LT to prepare for the camp over the weekend. On the bus trip to school, there was this lady who boarded the bus at Thomson Road I think. She was speaking on the phone in Jap. I think (I didn't hear much, I was listening to my mp3.) Then suddenly she was looking around and asked me, "Is this 162?" Ookae.. "Sorry but this is 132..." Poor lady who took a wrong bus early in the morning. Haii. Anyways, lalala... I took some photos!

PSLTC 2006!

Messy... Lala. Fun~

Lol. Guess who. Okay anyway, after that, the rest went to Plaza Sing., but I went home instead. It was ~~boring~~ tiring enough for me to fall asleep on my bus trip home. Bleh.

So this afternoon I was doing some packing. For the camp starting tmr, and for my house-moving. Ah well. I couldn't do anything for the camp, 'coz I didn't know what to bring. It is just like now, that I knew what to bring, and finished packing, I think. Rahh. Lousy planning. And guess what, I'm using this bag that my mum found in my cupboard, which I've got no idea where it came from. LOL. What a coincidence when I need a medium-sized bag. =D

While my bag bulges as I pack my things, I shall go do other packings later on. Then sleep at 11. Record-breaking... I have never slept as early as 11 since school ended. Earliest was 12, latest at 2. Goodness. It's even worse than during the exams. -.- I need rest!

Hmph. I wanna go NCOC POC this Saturday... Bleh. But there's camp. =( Our group's proposal was chosen!.. and we aren't going. AH! And it sounds so different from last year's. BL's are dancing... which means Alwyn's dancing... Lol. I better get my hands on those pictures.. Muahaha...! Ok nvm.

I better go pack now. Back on Sunday!

m.a.t.t.
[明天是否晴天？]

`quiz

2006-11-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

1.Full name: Matthew Chan Chun Hin
2.Name backwards: nih nuhc nahc wehttam -.-
3.Meaning of name: Matthew - God's Gift =P; Chun (晋) - Promotion?; Hin (轩) - Dignified
4.Nick name: Darkphur, matt, pms (-.-)
5.Screen name: matt.
6.D.O.B: 26th February 1991
7.Place of birth: HongKong
8.Nationality: Singaporean
9.Current location: 7 Bright Hill Drive, at home.
10.Star sign: Pisces. I pronounced it as Pieces last time...
11.Religion: Free-thinker. =D
12.Height: 167cm
13.Weight: 47kg. I'm underweight.. Lol.
14.Shoe size: 8 if I'm not wrong.
15.Hair colour: Black. Not some crazy gold colour.
16.Eye colour: Light brown, yellowish. (I want orange.)
17.Who do you look like: I don't look like others. By coincidence, people look like me.
18.Innie or outtie: Both. It really depends on the people I'm with.
19.Lefty or righty: righty~ But wouldn't it be good if I were ambidextrous?
20.Gay, Straight, Bi or others: If I said others, what'd you think?
21.Best Close Friends: To me, close is close, best is best, there's no best close.
22.~~Best~~ Close Friends ~~you trust most~~: Kevin, Roy
23.Favourite Pals: Close friends, Weijie, Ronney...?
24.Best ~~Close~~ friends of opposite sex: Not at the moment.
25.Best ~~Close~~ Buddies: None, really. Not yet.., or never.
26.Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Not at the moment.
27.Crush: Maybe... Lol. Take a guess.
28.Parents: My mum and my dad. Who else? -_-
29.Worst enemies: Emnity exists. But not to that extent.
30.Favourite online guy: Roy
31.Favourite online girl: Not at the moment.
32.Craziest Friend: Kangwei. Crazy beyond the unimaginable.
33.Advice Friend: Roy, Kevin..?
34.Loudest Friend: Not sure. Am I loud?
35.Person you cry with: Imaginary me.
36.Any sisters: Nope
37. Any brothers: Marcus
38.Any Pets: Once had tortoise and small fish. RIP.
39.Any disease: Touch wood.
40.Pager: That's rather old..
41.Personal Phone Line: Handphone! Yeah!
42.Phone: Sony ericsson rocks~
43.Lave Lamp: You mean, lava lamp? Wished I had.
44.Pool or Hot tub: No. Maintanence costs are probably sky-high.
45.A car: Wished I knew how to drive.
46.Your Personality: Pms, easily irritated, boring, meanie sometimes.
47.Driving: Refer to #45
48.Room: Quite big..., for now.
49.What's missing: Everything.
50.School: SJI~
51.Bed: Nice, comfy, super-singled.
52.Relationship with parents: Good. =D
53.Believe in Yourself: Most of the time.
54.Believe in love at first sight: Not exactly.
55.Good listener: Yep. *beams* Lol.
56.Get along well with parents: Refer to #52
57.Save e-mail convos: Yea.. Rather useless.
58.Pray: First time during this year's exams.
59.Believe in reincarnation: Yes. It's scary.
60.Make fun of people: Suan-ing. Yes~
61.Like to talk on the phone: Sometimes.. But it'll make my ear ache.
62.Want to get married: No
63.Like to drive: Refer to #45
64.Motion sickness: A l'il. On board a ferry.
65.Eat stem of broccoli: It's too hard for my liking.
66.Eat chicken with fork: Depends on which part of the chicken. I prefer chopsticks.
67.Dream in colours: I don't even remember my dream. =(
68.Type with your fingers on home role: What's home role...
69.Sleep with stuff toys: Not anymore. I used to have a Pikachu. LOL.
70.Next to you: Who? What? My imaginary me?
71.On the walls of your room: Nothing. Stainless.
72.On your mousepad: My cute mouse, my hand, some air..
73.Dream car: I'm not into cars.
74.Dream date: No idea.
75.Dream honeymoon spot: Umm, Greece? xD
76.Dream husband or wife: No idea.
77.Bedtime: Varies from 11pm to 2am.
78.Under your bed: Another mattress. What do you expect? The boogeyman?
79.Single most important qns: I have a million related questions. Start me.
80.Bad time of the day: 4pm. It's stuck right in the afternoon. Boring.
81.Your worst fear: Confined in a small space. Lonesome.
82.The weather: Fine
83.Time: 11.15pm
84.Date: 08 November 2006 So what?
85.Best trick did on someone: Don't recall.
86.Theme song: 雨天
87.Hardest thing on growing up: Not growing taller.
88.Funniest experience: Too many. =D
89.Scariest experience: Again, I don't recall..
90.Silliest thing you had ever said: "Hey! Uhh.. Sorry. Wrong person."
91.Most desperate and funniest things you have done to get the opposite sex: I have no idea.
92.Scariest thing while you are with your friends: Dang. No recollection.
93.Worst feeling: Melancholy
94.Best feeling in the whole: Bliss
95.6 People i ask to do this are: Do this if you want.

m.a.t.t.
[rain...]

`there

2006-11-06T18:30:00.000+08:00

He wallowed in self-pity.
An invitation by the devil,
irresisitably tempting.
The river to hell,
he flowed along.
A route of no return,
still he sought after.

Abandoning all,
he dismissed himself.
Saddened by life,
he was deeply hurt.
What is right,
what is wrong.
A thin line of boundary,
separates it all.

Washed down the waterfall,
he pushed back all walks of life.
Plunging into the abyss,
he slowly forgot them.

m.a.t.t.
[hurt.]

`get lost

2006-11-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

Superiority is not something that you abuse and manipulate to make others do things your way. It is not your everyday excuse/alternative to force things to turn out your way. Get this: I hate it. So straighten out your mind and get down to things proper.

m.a.t.t.
[boiling.]

`quiz

2006-11-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

1. Single, taken or crushing?
Single. Not taken. Crushing.. maybe?

2. Are you happy with your life now?
What makes you think I am? I'm probably making my own life more miserable than anyone else could.

3. When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?
Umm, I don't think I would know whether I met the right person. But if I did, I don't think it'll be fast. Mutual understanding, yea?

4. Have you ever been heart-broken?
Definitely. Friends can sometimes be a thorn in the flesh.

5. Do you believe that there are some circumstances, where cheating love is acceptable?
No. Unacceptable.

6. Would you take someone back even if he/she cheats on you?
I doubt so. I'll probably look into the circumstances based on the situation.

7. Have you talked about marriage to someone else before?
I don't think so...

8. Do you want children?
No, not at the moment.

9. How many?
I said no.

10. Would you consider adoption?
No.

11. If someone likes you now, what do you think is the best way for him/her to let you know his/her feelings?
Well, how about a letter of sort. There may not be a need to meet face-to-face due to awkwardness. And try not to give me a grandmother story, I sleep easily with boredom.

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
Never been in one. And by getting into relationshipS, you're implying that I'm frivolous? -.- No.

13. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Depends. I don't know..

14. Do you believe you can change someone?
I don't have that capability to do so. That's rather dramatic.

15. If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
Never thought of this. Greece? LOL.

16. Do you give in easily when fighting?
I don't fight. Don't ask stupid questions.
If you mean an argument, I don't give in normally. Unless it's with someone I like or something, that's a different story.

17. Do you have feelings for anyone now?
Maybe.

18. Do you ever wish that you could have had someone but you messed it up?
I don't think so... Not that I can think of, actually.

19. Have you ever broken a heart?
I'm uncertain. May have, may have not.

20. If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy/girl you are deeply in love with, what will you do?
I don't think that'll happen in the first place.

21. Are you missing anyone right now?
Yes.

22. Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.
I don't think anyone will be doing this anyway.

m.a.t.t.
[fatigue.]

`enough

2006-11-03T18:00:00.000+08:00

stop wasting my time.

i doubt you're trying.

him.

m.a.t.t.
[hah.]

`leave me alone

2006-10-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

It's been a long week. It's been a long month. It's been a long year. It's really fast, ain't it? The year is ending soon, with Thanksgiving tmr. I think I'll miss this year, year 2006. It might have been the most angry year I've been in, the most academically poor year I've been in, but it will also be the most memorable year I've been in. =D

I feel quite sad for the year to end. I miss those days. I don't wanna worry about Os. =/ Which I already am, for next week's Chinese O Levels. Bahh. I miss those days as a cadet of SJI-SJAB. I miss those days when I get pissed off by numerous people. I miss those days when I become happier, younger, more thoughtful, more reflective, more... quiet. How I miss those days.

I was just writing those thanksgiving cards to my fellow classmates earlier. I can't believe how stupid I am, to only take 7 cards. What's the matter with me. Now I regret, because I totally short of cards. Argh. Sorry to those who didn't receive.. I didn't have enough. =/ Oh well. You guys understand. Heh.. Now I have to sleep early, wake up early tmr to open class for mass people.

Anyway, my early means 11+ btw. Lol. Well this week can be the most boring week I can ever experience. Monday, was the all-talk day. Several talks together in the PAC. How can one not sleep? Not that I slept, but I was semi-awake. =/ And yes, I'm quite disappointed with how the organisation turned out to be. A talk that was supposed to go from 7.50am to 8.40am, started at 8.40am and ended 10 minutes later.

Yes, and the entire school day was delayed by 30min I think. Oh well. After school, I went with Kevin to the HQ to make payment for some booklets. How funny. Kevin was saying how memorable it'll be because we're having our first lunch together. Ookae... Lol. We're just having charsiew rice, nothing specific... It was pretty boring though. We had to make a trip down there just to make a payment, without getting the booklets. Bleh..

Today was equally boring, staying at home doing some website admin stuff. And I had to go out for lunch... To my own stupidity, I forgot my umbrella and got quite wet, due to the rain. Oh well. Maybe the rain was because of my daily humming of 雨天... LOL. It's a really nice song~

Well here's a nice song by 孙燕姿 too. It's really describing what I'm feeling sometimes. Really... There you go, Leave Me Alone.

Leave Me Alone / 孙燕姿

站在你背后感动又难过
这个人一开始也爱过
不知为什么突然间觉得
没有你没有爱最快乐
oh~oh~ oh~oh~oh~

如果你问我想要些什么
我会说我想要风平浪静
慢慢的摸索一天天的过
但是我们想的毕竟不同
oh~oh~ oh~oh~oh~
想什么要什么别问我
can you leave me alone
na na na na na na………

oh~oh~ oh~oh~oh~
想什么要什么别问我
can you leave me alone
我不想要谁给我快乐
因为快乐总带给我不快乐
我们不是做错只是不知所措
so please 这一刻让我走
can you leave me alone

m.a.t.t.
[happier?]

`word abuse

2006-10-21T13:40:00.000+08:00

This morning, I woke up. Went out for breakfast. Bought... ipenny! YAY! Haha.. Oh well. That's the 2nd and last album I can buy as promised by myself after the exams. I only got 2 As. More like 2 A1s. No A2s. -.-" So sad. I expected 4 A1s. Bleargh. Go eat ___.

Anyway, I'm pretty frustrated now. Stupid admin things. No one's helping, at all. Go eat ___. Hate this. When I wanna complete something, I lack almost every information I need. Go eat ___. Arh. Go fill in that blank in whatever you think it suitable. It's word abuse for me - it's the same word.

___ those people who can't do anything proper when I ask for it. When I tell you to do something, you jolly well get it done, well and proper. You don't come to me and say you got this this that that and all those ___ excuses. I give them to you all because I trust you all can do it. ___ abilities.

Enough of those ___. It's getting worse of me. I should really stop being so irritating and vent my frustration over the people around me. Oh well. ___.

The present hectic schedule for me really sucks. Get away from me. I hate this. And honest, I regret it.

m.a.t.t.
[___.]

`ookae...

2006-10-18T22:00:00.000+08:00

You must be asking why did I change the previous nice skin to this nice skin. Apparently, Blogger, as usual, screwed up and almost converted my blog into some SSS girl's blog. Like whatever. That's like so evil. Stupid blogger. Blogger better apologise, 'coz I'm still patronising them and using them as host. TSK.

Anyway, this skin's very snowy~ Haha. I guess I just have a thing for weather elements. It's so fun... Lol. Moreover, this one's interactive, like the kangaroos! (who went for hibernation for some reason or another) It's quite odd, that I only spent 1.5 hours on this skin, as compared to the previous of 2.5 hours. Oh well. I must be getting a hang of skinning. Haha...

Today was a pretty busy day for me. Thank-god. At least I had something to do, and not spend boring time watching pokemon episodes. -_- There was Mother Tongue Intensive this morning, in preparation for O Level Express Chinese. I guess I really have to accept what Mr Lee said, and I knew it very well. Ever since the change in exam format, it was really bad for me, 'coz I only knew how to mugg. -.- Then my language standard dropped into a bottomless pit, for not speaking Mandarin often. Now both my Chinese essays and comprehension are like a piece of shit. Argh. I guess I really have to 恶补... Oh well. I bought 联合早报 this afternoon~

After Intensive, there's PSF meeting. It was quite lame... when Ronn and I were walking from end to end of the school, trying to find the meeting location, just to realise that no one's in school. So it started late, ended late. In the end, both of us had to leave early... Bleh. But it's okay I guess, at least we completed what we had to plan. =)

我需要用多些华语吗。我就用啦！哈哈。不错吧。我真无聊。=/

今天我刚发现我懂得太多事了。英语有句话说：Ignorance is bliss. 我猜应该的。有时我真觉得懂得太多，我的心就更乱。别问我，我也不知道。好，我就借苏慧伦的歌：不想想太多。

不想想太多 / 苏慧伦

当给你自由
都嫌太多觉得太重的时候
在我们之间
是否要更长的空格

我和你不同
当你向左我偏向右的时候
爱是否到了
找不到方向的路口

依赖了多久
在你怀里的温柔
现在一个人
只能大步往前走

我不想想太多
当别人又说起你的时候
不过是分手
别夸张了寂寞

我不想想太多
当radio又传来那首歌
anyone at all
还爱你没有错

我以为自己可以很洒脱
会酷酷的转身我掉头就走
没想过有些难过
我自己不说却被看透
整个人被泪水淹没

不想想太多
不过是分手

m.a.t.t.
[雪。]

`pure horrid

2006-10-17T18:15:00.000+08:00

Argh! Why like that? It's like I put in effort, then it goes to a waste. Put in a whole lot, more goes to waste. BLEH. Wonder what's gonna happen lor. It's not my fault. Not at all. What's your problem. TSK. Enough said.

Just came back from Maths Olympiad in school. Goodness. My brain can't hold anything more. Brain shutdown after exams.. It's like everything just appears before me, and I just simply stare. Bleh. I just took down everything on the board... Probably come home and analyse it. I'm such a failure. =="

Today's almost as boring as yesterday. Yesterday was Sec4 Farewell Assembly + some prize-giving + commemorate Ms Lau's resignation. That was still okay, despite the awful chairs that we sat on. The rest was going through exam questions. How demoralising. From promising passes and A1s, to horrible omg-can-I-even-pass?! thoughts. What blasphemy.

I planned to do some SJI-SJAB work this morning, to only realise that I don't have sufficient materials. What to do. So instead, I was browsing through DeviantArt and downloading some VBA games. Did I mention how utterly bored I was yesterday? I was watching Pokemon episodes on the comp. yesterday night, when I had no idea what to do. Games are but games and they totally bore me now. And I thought I would be some game-maniac after exams. -_-

So much for the end of exams. It's even worse now. Like Ronn said, post-exam stress. GREAT. There's SJI-SJAB, PSF, and my moving of house. Darn. That reminds me, I have to start packing some stuff. More like clearing and throwing stuff away. Not spring-cleaning. Hah. Right.

m.a.t.t.
[whatever.]

`life after exams

2006-10-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm back~! It's been a long time since I last updated this, like more than 2 weeks. Heh. I must say, I'm really glad the exams are over. Especially because I don't need to live with sleeping from 1.30am to 6am everyday. Thank-god.

Personally, I guess this EOY exams taught me some really important things, concerning my studying methods and all. It exposed me to different ways to study for exams, though this must have come really late. (I'm Sec 3 going on Sec 4 lah..) Let's see.. I tried memorising through writing, reciting aloud, placing the book/notes on my head for efficient diffusion, scolding my textbooks, sleeping on the books, etc etc. LOL. You can go figure what method I'm going to use from now. HAHA.

I even set myself a target for the EOY exams. At first, like before the EOY exams, I said: "For every A1 I get this term, I'm going to treat myself to a gelato (semi-solid ice-cream)." It must have really been scary if I really implemented that. Hah. Then I changed to: "For every A1 I get, I'm going to buy myself an album." I'm gonna get new albums!

Anyway, on Thursday, like after Geog. Paper 1, Roy and I decided to go out and "shop". We tried to drag Kevin along. His response (as usual): 'Not at all', ... 'No', ... 'Maybe', ... 'Yes' and 'Turns up'. Oh well. Begging sure was 'fun'. While waiting for Kevin (while he was at Harbour Front taking an train to Somerset), Roy and I went to HMV and talked lots about... mandopop! Haha.. It's really fun, like gossiping about this artiste, that artiste, commenting on so-so-so... What a great morning. (to realise that saya's a*mei's sister. didn't know.) We even talked about those artistes who disappeared from the music scene (which led to the Saya thing), namely Huang Yida, Saya, Faye Wong and so on... Not much to my displease though. Lol.

So Kevin met up with us and we had lunch at LJS's. Never had lunch there before. I guess it's not bad, except for the proportion of food-to-price. Then I think we went to Sembawang to look at CDs, to find out that they don't have Yanzi's MSYS Limited Edition. So we headed for Takashimaya and wow. We toured and explored Art Friend on Level 4 and Kino on Level 3. Art Friend's so cool, with all those art tools, especially the markers! Fun~ We were doodling, writing, "testing the pens"... Oh well. I'm not good at art, but I kinda like those funky art tools. How I wish I knew how to use them properly. LOL.

It's been a long time since I went to Kinokuniya. Well naturally we went to the art section, again. Lol. Then I was stuck at an architecture book on 21st century state-of-the-art house designs. Intriguing. Lol. After that, we headed to wisma atrium. And then to Orchard MRT. Finally. There's stock of MSYS at Popular CD Rama at the MRT. Lol. AND it's cheaper than that of Sembawang's. Haha... YAY I GOT THE ALBUM!!!

Okay so much for the excitement..., after I bought the omg-yanzi's-album, Roy had to leave for his safari uniform making at 3pm. Kevin and I didn't want to go anywhere since both of us were pretty worn out by the walking, so we went back to Cineleisure, sat down at BK and chit-chatted till 5pm. LOL. We talked a range of stuff and realised, we didn't buy anything from BK. Then I went to buy a drink. Haha...

Yesterday, on the other hand, was a pretty boring day that I spent at home playing com the entire day. I was playing Virtual Boy Advance lah... You know, PC version of GBA. LOL. You won't believe if I said what I played. So that's for me to know, and for you to never find out. =P

Today was an entire go-out-have-breakfast-and-lunch day. Then I changed my I/C address too, visited a house and came back. Freaking tired. I slept on both to and fro car trips lah.. I better get rid of that sleep-on-whatever-vehicle-you're-on habit, especially buses. And today was the first time I got super full after breakfast, lunch and dinner. Food overload... ==" I have one small stomach.

Let's get away from the food thing before I feel even 'fuller'. Anyway, as you have realised, I changed my blogskin! It's pretty cool, like those tags on the side. It took me roughly 2.5 hours for the choosing of this skin and the editting. Lol. But I love it. This skin's rather tough to edit because it's in CSS format, an advanced version of HTML? I'm not sure myself. Heh.

Okay time for me to get going and discover more of what I haven't done in SJAB. Don't remind me of the mountainous load of work. Gosh. Wish me luck again~!

m.a.t.t.
[thank you loads!]

`stand-down

2006-09-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

Okay I'm squeezing this time out to blog. LOL. Exams are like in less than 1 week's time and I haven't studied anything yet. ==" Well, for a headstart, I did lots of homework. Lol. That doesn't show much. Anyway, this blog's gonna continue being dead, for now, until the end of my exams on 12 Oct 2006. =D Wish me luck!

m.a.t.t.
[guilt-ridden.]

`my goodness gracious

2006-09-18T16:30:00.000+08:00

Oh yea~ I can't believe I managed to watch The Banquet yesterday... LOL. After meeting up with Kevin and Roy at Plaza Sing., we went up to buy tix. "I'm sorry, but you're not 16 yet." So we set off for Cineleisure on a bus and we got "There you go. Enjoy your movie." Heh. Rating: 7.5/10 (Couldn't make up my mind for 7 or 8 so I gave a half.)

The Banquet's actually an almost-direct translation of The Hamlet. Just that it's in Mandarin and there were some changes from the actual story here and there. It's like so tragic lah. Everyone died in the end... And there's like sophisticated-ness at the end that I still don't get. Bleargh. What's more, the movie had tinges of modernisation within. It's so stupid. Lol. But it's really nice and I'm in awe with the effects and style. (Though I thought they abused the usage of red colouring. Splattering blood all over the place. -.-")

After that, we three went to the same Mac's we headed to last time at Centrepoint and sat there to talk, and talk and talk. Haha. It's fun talking, probably with Roy. =D Kevin, you need to speak up. Zzz. We were like talking so randomly that Kev didn't even catch what we were talking. Bet he was bored. Right?

Last night, I talked with Jourdan. How I missed you! Haha.. Not in a gay way. But well you were considered one of my really good friends. (Aren't you honoured?) Lol. Then we just went on and on for like one and a half hours 'cause we haven't managed to talk for like six months? Sigh. It's really nice talking and sharing about each other's school life and all. Don't torture yourself, yea?

Today's school. Boring. Lol. Oh well, I managed not to doze off at any lessons. HAHA. Not that I'm sleeping all the time, but yea I was feeling tired last week. Real tired. And guess what: I went to take my Adidas orange-black watch from my bag, and I realised it broke into two at the curve. Must've been me squashing it in my bag too much. *sobs* It's such a nice (and expensive T_T) watch.. Hopefully I can glue it back with Super Glue tmr.

I'm gonna start studying after my homework later. YAY-ness. I'm actually gonna mugg. I think I better get a timetable going too. =) All the best to me~

m.a.t.t.
[some people are just over-paranoid.]

`appeasement

2006-09-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

I'm quite happy like now. Haha. Not crazily happy for no rhyme or reason, but genuinely happy. Probably the first time in days. (I'm not a depressed freak, though.)

Yesterday I just had my HSK Examination at Toa Payoh HDB Hub. I used $10 on transport. ==" I'm such a blur-head. By right, I should take 163 all the way to Toa Payoh Interchange. Guess what. I took the opposite direction, and went ALL the way to Sengkang Interchange. Zzz. It was like 8.15am and I was late for breakfast. (Supposed to meet friends at 8am.) So, I had no choice but to take a taxi back - taking MRT to Toa Payoh will take at least an hour. $9.20. My wallet feels the pain. Anyway, the exam was pretty boring. There was this section of 1-hour but I took 30 minutes. What to do with the rest of the time? Sleep. After it ended, then Weijie, Norman and I went to the food court for lunch. And yuck. I had noodles from the Roast Delights stall with Char Siew and Wanton. Bleargh. It's so bitter... -_-0 I'm never gonna eat that again. Ever.

Lately, or more like yesterday, there's this post up on Scorpio's Board. I'm quite happy with it, because it sums up most of my unpleasantries, which I kept most of them in my head, lest someone criticises me for being too critical, too biased, too... bitchy. Whatever. I'm glad things have picked up, but I still have some concerns based on the squad. Hopefully everything gets sorted out.

I've been quite bored yesterday afternoon. And I went to watch The Devil Wears Prada's trailer again, and again, and again. I find it really memorable, probably the first of movies that I actually had such great connection. I myself find it odd but the movie inspires me to a certain extent. Come to think of it, when Andy struggled to get her job done, no matter how difficult and challenging it was, it spoke of another meaning.

Life's never easy when you work. You can look at your job from three perspectives:

1. you hate it and you want to quit the moment you got it because it just sucks big time.

2. you have no opinions on it because you get the money.

3. you love it because you put passion into it, and you try your best at the job, even if it is physically, mentally and emotionally demanding. (That's because it's your job.)

Andy Sachs struggled but managed to survive for that period under the pressurising editor-in-chief. Honestly, that's what how I felt. I probably learned from a greater view and well... you can say I'll probably dedicate more to my job in the future. =D

I'm catching another movie later on: The Banquet. I'm in need of another major-production Chinese movie. The last time I saw one was... Fearless? Okay that ain't that big. Maybe, The Memoirs of a Geisha. Yea. That's pretty long ago. Golly. I'm such a desperate movie-fantatic. Haha...

And just in case you haven't noticed, I added this section on my profile bar. Quote of the Week. It showcases some of the famous and memorable quotes from movies, tv shows, artistes etc. Sometimes I find them quite hilarious, yet some do really contain a deeper meaning behind it. Well you can say it's just for laughs. =)

m.a.t.t.
[happiness is the key.]

`fed-up

2006-09-15T19:00:00.000+08:00

Life in Sec3 taught me 3 things.

1. Physical contact is wholly acceptable, esp. when you are pissed with another guy.

2. Humiliating another is alright; just be optimistic. (Since connivance's natural.)

3. Almost everyone is skeptical, has ulterior motives, and might just be plotting something sinister against you; in other words, back-stab.

How enlightening. How enthralling. How... deceptive.

m.a.t.t.
[try me.]

`apologies

2006-09-13T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yes I feel very obliged to apologise to the people around me, especially those who are closely endeared to me. I can't help it. It just struck me over these 2 days. Well it might sound just quite stupid but it dawned me.

I can't really say who I am gonna apologise, 'coz I think I'll take ages to put down all those that I'm gonna say sorry to. Basically, I'm apologetic over my actions, be it verbal or physical. I can't control them, subconsciously, I just am like that. I may appear critical. I may appear with a split personality. I may appear as though I don't give a damn to anything anyone says and does. I may appear to become biased. I may appear to become an elitist. Like omg, I can't conjure a cure all of a sudden and bring all of that appearance away. Sorry if I hurt you in anyway, but try to accept it, for the moment.

Now I'm feeling tired. I'm dreading this post, which I initally had the vibe to throw all my thoughts in. Haii. Over the past few nights, I've been sleeping no earlier than 12. I don't think I've gone to the extreme of 1am before. You can say I've been thinking a lot. Pondering over the ever-changing presence of humans. Sometimes they disgust me, yet sometimes they make me feel empathetic towards them. It's so irritating.

As my eyelids peel off, I better get going. Some things I just got quite pissed with. Shan't mention it. I say it, and I'll probably get a horde of people chasing after me. ==" I mean, if you are like from another body, then I'll accept that you don't help. BUT we're from the same body, and you're not helping the least bit, not even showing your interest, then everything you say is bullshit.

Anyway, things are swirling like a whirlpool around me. I pretty much accepted that, for now. Honestly, I can't do much about it so I might as well get along and live with it. It's gonna happen sooner or later, like someone said. I'll just adapt it with perseverance? Hopefully I have enough to last me. And of course, this issue will be out sooner or later. I'm just glad I'm enlightened in such a way that the chats I had opened another perspective for me. =)

Despite the 1-week break now, I'm like dying here. Argh. I'm tiring myself out to the extent of me falling asleep whenever possible. Whenever time permits, I mean. Bleh. Sometimes it's so paiseh.. Golly, I've got one bad habit to curb now. Next, I'm getting abit edgy these days. You can say I'm getting impatient and intolerable to certain things. And these things bug me. Totally.

Things I've done lately:
a. Replaced my "corrupted" student ez-link card at Tiong Bahru MRT. That lady at the counter must have woke up from the wrong side of her bed. So much for making my picture look as if I took a webcam shot.
b. Finished HSK Talk-cum-Mock Paper today. It was okay at first, getting all hyped-up at the lightning-speed of how listening compre. was tested. Freaky. But slowly, the entire thing just bored me to death. Zzz. What's next, I've got a 3-hour exam on Saturday at Toa Payoh HDB Hub. Good luck to me.
c. Reflected on what's going on around me. Not that I just realised this or what, but life's really fragile and all. Things that happen to you now might just have been caused by something insignificant you did 5 years ago. Who knows. No-one's perfect. I know that. But now I know everyone's not perfect in such a way that each and everyone of us have different setbacks. Some start with personal stuff, like your health, your studies, your family relations. Then another level to societal stuff, like your ring of friends, people who move around you, how the big picture changes from time to time etc. Brittle humans.

Now, a song to commemorate my self-deception.

假装 / 蔡依林

呼吸着一种孤独的味道
心跳在你沉默以后
慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑反正你看不到
我要的幸福遗落在你怀抱

当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮
走着看着都是摧眠符号

记忆停不了穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道我只想不被打扰

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱一直会让我依靠
继续等待还心甘情愿的不想逃
(心甘情愿不想逃)

假装多好依然是依然是暧昧的tone调
一个人无理取闹两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套

像是驼鸟相信时间是唯一解药
视而不见傻到了无可救药
其实早明了你的爱已随风飘
想要找再也找不到

假装自己已解开冰冷的手铐

m.a.t.t.
[living in denial.]

`reflection

2006-09-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

PSF Retreat Camp just ended today. I'm pretty tired now. Hmm. But I learned quite a number of things from this retreat.

I now know:
1. how to approach someone in need or trouble.
2. how PSFs played a part in the large SJI community.
3. that Mr Wong likes the name "Shawn" or "Sean".
4. that I'm an outcast... of sort.
5. that I have less weaknesses than I thought.
6. that the things to look out for when approaching someone from 1.
7. that some people likes to be squashed on the floor.
8. that Spirits Committee is the best... LOL.
9. how funny Ian Chai can be.. Hehe.
10. that some people just have high ego.

Honestly, this retreat told me some things that I didn't even expect it will tell me. It even went to the stage whereby relationships kick in and are messed up. I don't know about me, but I just have to accept the fact that some people prefer to mix with the "hip" group. Forgot your past friendships? I don't know. Nothing accounts for a ignorant attitude. - Not aiming anyone here -

This retreat actually gave me time off my busy hectic life. It spared me some private time to think of my life ahead, and what's ready for me. Everything happened within the blink of the eye. But to face it, life's just like that. The world doesn't live for you; YOU live for the world. So I might as well look at it from a more optimistic view, though this happens to be really difficult at the moment.. Looking back at The Devil Wears Prada, people rushed and buzzed around like bumbling bees; yet that's the present world. That's our world. Live with it.

m.a.t.t.
[hesitance.]

`smirk

2006-09-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

Great. I'm back from the emo me. I'm back from NCOC Camp. I'm back from wasting my life yesterday. I'm back.

I went out today with Kevin and Roy to Cineleisure to like walk, talk and do stuff. Ate lunch at BK, then found out Kevin haven't gone to Cine before. Lol... You're like 15, and you haven't been out to Orchard. =P So we caught a movie at 2+: The Devil Wears Prada. Rating: 8/10

The Devil Wears Prada's really cool. You have Meryl Streep as Miranda, the editor-in-chief of this fashion magazine, Runway. She's the boss. She's got like a hundred staff under her, scurrying and work like hell. What she wants, is always one and only Plan A. No Plan B. Full-stop. You do something wrong, and you're FIRED. Cool. Lol.

Anne Hathaway as Andy ain't that bad either. She's got the determination and guts to survive as Miranda's assistant for like a year. But she quitted in the end, not that she got fired, but she quitted. Because she didn't like the way Runway functioned. And yes it's a waste to not keep her. She's like so pro, like getting the manuscript for JK Rowling's Harry Potter book. Lol~

It's really fashion. Cool, yet it kinda intrudes your personal life. Like breaking relationships. Oh well. That's the world out there. Let's see.. Life out there. Life we have. Two worlds. I'm in between. Great. Just great.

Something really funny today just happened. It almost burst my stomach. Kevin said he'll be late at Cine so Roy and I ate first. Lala. We finished BK at like 1.30pm and went to see where's Kevin. We went to Cheers and saw him walking towards Cine. He bypassed Cheers and we followed him in. Lol. We were like stalking him... Then he walked till BK and kinda did a turn at ourside BK. Both of us just walked behind him, surprisingly he didn't notice us. LOL. Then Kevin was like on the phone with Roy, and Kevin didn't know that we were like jsut next to him. "Turn to your right Kevin..." There we met. LOL. We just kept laughin'... Kevin didn't get it. LMAO.

Okay so after the movie we walked to Taka and then to Centrepoint. Sat down at Mac's and started chatting. I felt pretty relieved that I had someone to share my thoughts. Sigh. The situation is fixed. There's no way you can change it. Accept it. Live with it.

m.a.t.t.
[that's all.]

`life

2006-09-05T14:00:00.000+08:00

I hate this life.

m.a.t.t.
[why.]

`all about us

2006-09-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

Time flies. Teachers' Day is over soon. I guess I don't really have much to say about my present teachers. Teachers from lower secondary have a larger impact on me I suppose. Oh well. Memories lingering in my mind...

Okay I feel retarded now. I posted earlier, but to have Blogger sign me out suddenly and my entire post was gone. ==" Now I forgot what I even typed. Dammit. Inspiration lost. This sucks. Bleargh I don't feel like blogging. -.- I'll try to remember.

Tmr's NCOC. I don't look forward to it. One, the things that are gonna be taught, have already been taught. Well, stuff from BLTC is moved up to ALTC. What's the point. It's like I just stayed back for a year at school and I'm repeating the year's syllabus. Two, there are projects to do. Like last year, BLTC was to do a presentation. Well it's like a waste of my time, I could use the time preparing it to study/do homework. Exams are coming in 3 weeks. Goodness.

Today's homework-ing and going out sure loosened me up. I woke up and packed my stuff for the camp, then left for lunch at Thomson Plaza. Stress-free. You look at the people, the clouds, the trees, the road, the cars, the shops, the more-people, and the food~ Lol. Though I shouldn't really be eating at KFC - I'm still sick, ever since OBS. I better get well soon. I strolled down to Sembawang after that and browsed through the mandopop albums - I realised how much I dislike *ack hem* 183. I have a tendency to put another CD on top of it. LOL.

Now I'm like working on my maths homework. I'm frustrated, considering the fact that I'm not bad at trigonometry. I was stuck at a question earlier for a whole HOUR, and I realised I did a wrong step at the start. Surprise surprise. I simply swore. o.0 Yes, I swore. Maybe I should control my words more. Stress. Bleh.

Results were out yesterday. I'm pretty surprised, I didn't expect that high. Maybe I'll raise my expectations for FYE. Concentrate more on studies. Stop being a lost sheep, inquisitive over minor stuff and forgetting the herd. Yay... I'm motivated. I think. LOL. I'll work hard~ 11th in class this term. It's not bad okay. I did 24th last term. Haha. Hopefully I get into top 10 in the class. Oh wait no. Hopefully I get to top a subject. *beams*

I'm leaving tmr for Yishun Town Sec so I won't be around for the next 3 days. I'll blog when I come back on Monday evening. Cya all. (Like Kevin said, don't cry... Like I said, you'll get to see cute Matthew on Monday...) ^^

m.a.t.t.
[obsession.]

`pain-staking confusion

2006-08-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

I didn't realise, until Roy mentioned, that my posts are getting longer these days. Reason: Stress? Pressure? I probably need a breather. But I'm alright, don't worry everyone. I mean, you'll know when I'm really STRESSED OUT when I start muttering vulgarities and spouting nonsensical obscenities. You'll probably get to see the ugliest side of me. Hmm.

It's kinda true that I have more and more stuff to blog about, but not exactly all due to stress. I just have a lot to write about, and to share and reflect. Things around are starting to take a turn and are swirling downwards. They are not turning out right. Apparently, the latest news just left me speechless - how can these things end up like that? How can they even happen in the first place? My mind's in a whirl... Don't probe on.

Today's Teachers' Day Celebration turned out to be the worst I have ever experienced. Almost the worst. The rain poured at dawn and ACES workout was cancelled, to my relief. Lol. But everyone just dilly-dallied around, doing nothing for the next hour or so. There wasn't even assembly. Then there's a lesson while the lower Sec went to view the performance. Bleh... I didn't expect that much homework to pile up. How in the world am I able to find time to do them when I have 2 camps coming up. =="

When lessons ended and we were supposed to go to the PAC, it was delayed due to some stuff that cropped up. Bleargh. Meanwhile, I got the class to sign those TD cards so I could pass them to the teachers after that. Honestly I was disappointed - no matter how much dislike you have for a teacher, he/she is still your teacher and you should at least give them a signature of appreciation, not just puke remarks and reject the card. Anyway, finally after a 30min wait, we proceeded to the PAC like a herd of lost sheep, scattered all over the place.

The celebration was totally aweful, with 2 -whatever- emcees doing duno-what and cracking weird jokes and facetious polls. Then there were just plain boring pieces, such as singing (monotone), dancing (hip-hop's supposed to be HIGH, not boring), band performances (on TD you play rock and metal-rock?). I was practically sleeping, for heaven's sake. But of course, I can't discredit the not-too-bad video presentations by 431 and 433; at least they were able to portray the true meaning behind Teachers' Day, not boom the PAC with eyedrum-tearing rubbish. Yet, overall, TD celebration was a horrid waste of my time; I would rather have lessons. Yuck.

Now I just came back home, eating my beancurd bought at Thomson Plaza. Yummy.. Haha. They're nice, well mainly 'coz there's honey on it. But it's healthy.. yea? Lol. That's my budget lunch. LOL. Just kidding... I had something else before that. Imagine me eating at a budget everyday.. I'll probably save up enough money to get a good, cool-looking, wired optical mouse. (I'm wasting alot of money on batteries to provide my wireless mouse. Bleh.)

The present perplexed situation now is really driving me nuts. I try to put them aside so I'll just act ignorant... Oh well. I know that can't last for long. That's as though I'm living in denial. Haii. Let's just think about homework now. At least it keeps my mind away from broding over these mystifying series of events (that caused me to have imsomnia last night. -.-)...

Should I sleep? Oh wait, on second thoughts, no. I'm not gonna stay up all night again, eyes wide open and staring at my ceiling. Let's go "indulge" in homework.

m.a.t.t.
[killing my brain cells.]

`tears

2006-08-30T22:00:00.000+08:00

Emotions are taking the toll on me. Events/Things just come by, either anticipated or unexpected, and they are all crushing me. Imagine yourself being in a enclosed room with no windows or doors. You can't breathe. Haii. I guess I'll really need to try coping with them now, be it personal or social. I shan't talk about my personal aspect (which are all swirling in my head). Let's just say, they are too private to be disclosed.

Socially, I have school, SJI-SJAB, friends etc. I'm not saying they are a burden, especially my friends, but the load and sophistication of every matter just pushes me down, burying me into the ground. School is the usual: homework, exams, teacher-student relationships and results.

Speaking of which, my results this term is quite shocking to me. I didn't expect it, or most of it. I'm not sure about the finalised results, though I know that I just got 88 for Geog. Like, OMG? I totally thought I would do mediocre-ly for it, comparing it to last term's 50. Well, I guess it's a return for my hard work put into the subject~ Haha. Others I probably don't need to mention, especially my sciences which I did real badly, as usual. They just suck, full-stop.

Next up: Camps. Goodness. I have a 3-day camp - NCOC ALTC - this coming Saturday and well honestly, I'm trying to convince myself that going for it is OKAY because I'm doing it for the Gold Award. Sigh. It's such a pain to force myself to do this. Argh. What a dread, pause. 2 days later, and I have a PSF Retreat Camp next Thursday for roughly 2 days. Preparation for us to qualify for the job. Sigh..

SJI-SJAB has nothing much besides NCOC. And probably I need to start preparing for badge application etc etc. The deadline for everything's running close and especially for CAA. Zomg. We better get a Gold Award if not I'll be killin' myself. Literally. I can't afford to let whatever that's been done to waste in my hands. Pressure? Yes.

By right, I shouldn't be blogging here. I should be doing my Chinese essay. Lol. Oh well. I'll need a destress post before I embark on the tedious journey to reach its completion. It's pretty complicated, huh? Not really, I just have to do this holiday assignment. BUT, by left, I'll probably be finishing it by tmr. LOL.

Anyway, I'll talk about my day which was really cool, I think. Weijie and I met up to go Beach Road and buy our NCOC stuff required for the camp this Sat. I guess the longest wait was for the making of the lanyards. The rest were settled before lunch while we ordered the lanyards that were so-called "ordered" by others from Scorpio. Apparently, even after we finished lunch, there was still one and a half more to go so both of us just toured the Army market, visited the HQ (to find the Store closed due to irregular opening hours) and back again. It was really boring, so boring that we even went up to 3rd floor of the HQ and down again, then another round around the Army market level. Apparently, there's this bicker and feud between 2 shops... One that we purchased most of our stuff, and another that we ordered the lanyards. It's so difficult to judge the situation and decide who's right and wrong; both just put each other in a super bad light. o.0

Finally we headed to Plaza Sing. for a movie. Click was our choice and I'm so glad that I watched it. It's such a tear-inducing movie okay... I mean, honestly I did tear at the climax of the movie. But overall, the movie has a huge moral behind it: Treasure what you have before your eyes, before you lose them and you cannot retrieve those beautiful memories back again. It's another one of those movies that I DON'T mind watching again. Haha. Just a run-through: Click's about this guy who has this Universal remote and controls everything to whatever he likes, but end up fast-forwarding so much that he missed all those precious times he spent with his family. It's really touching, to show the importance of the well-being of a family. Rating: 9/10

I'm getting a li'l tired now. I better get started on my essay, before I doze off halfway through it. Oh darn, there's still school tmr. Bleargh. ACES workout before assembly. Like wth, I bet there'll be an excellent turn-up at Teachers' Day mass. ==" Somehow it just doesn't make any sense. (I meant the schedule.)

Let us all treasure the things around us, especially those that we have neglected or belittled in any way. Let us not whine or complain about unfavourable events, but accept them with an open mind. You never know how something bad may turn out to be your greatest endearment.

m.a.t.t.
[family comes first.]

`the blaze of life

2006-08-27T20:10:00.000+08:00

As you all see, I've changed my blogskin! Haha. Ain't it a surprise~? I picked this skin like a month ago I think. But I didn't change it then, because I didn't have time, I still liked my previous foxfire skin and I was lazy. Well... Mainly the last one. Lol. Laziness can be such a pain sometimes. Like when you very well know that you got some important things in hand to do, but you couldn't be bothered. You would rather sit back, relax and lie on the couch. - Random: I would love to have my own couch too... -

Anyway, this skin was prepared in like 1.5 hours. The least I've ever done so far? Maybe the 2nd least. Hmm. I tend to spend a lot of time on a new skin, customising it to its very own layout and design. You can say it's good and bad. Good for it'll give my blog an entire new look and it's pretty much of self-satisfaction... Hehe. I'm a perfectionist. Bad for I take too long. Use up too much time on this and neglect other things like homework... =P

There's this commotion in the newspapers these 2 days. About Pluto the planet. Does it ring a bell? It's our dear 9th planet in our solar system, furthest away from the sun, and orbits the sun every 200+ earth years. Apparently it's now down-graded to a miserly "dwarf planet" or one of those minor planets like Xena the dwarf which orbits even further than Pluto. I was kinda shocked when I read about this. 15 years of education says your solar system has 9 and just yesterday I woke up and *poof* one planet's gone, with only 8 survivors. Not saying it's affecting my livelihood or anything but well it just tells us that our world is ever-changing and we just have to adapt to whatever developments that take place. I can't explain it again. I don't know how to put it but it's just that our lives are susceptible to many things...

Speaking of which. I'm susceptible to illnesses... Bleargh. I'm down with a flu, sore throat and phlegm right after OBS. How lucky can I get. ==" Shouldn't I become fitter? Why fall sick? Haii. Taking panadol flu tablets as I type. Hopefully I get rid of this bout of flu before ALTC, if not I'm just gonna have a hard time. And lol, I was still thinking of eating ice-cream this afternoon. Contradicting...

It's back to school tmr, after the long week of outdoor camp. I'm still pondering of what homework I have left. I'm doing biology now too. (Multi-tasking) Maybe maths. Or was it Chinese. Then again, Geography? -.- Nevermind. I'll just do bio. Good enough for me. Hehe. Anyway, there's only 2 days of school left before Sept. Holidays. Lalala... There's Monday and Tuesday. Then PTM on Wed which I don't need to go~ Celebration of Teachers' Day on Thurs and subsequently Teachers' Day on Friday. YAY.

I got no idea what's the point of me blogging now. To signify my presence? To surprise people? To show Matthew's still CUTE and ADORABLE? Okay forget what I typed before this. LOL. I got that compliment from Kevin's DOTA friend I think. Ahaha... I'm cute. *bursts out into laughter* SO, personally I feel that this blog can be quite insignificant at times, but it can be so essential to be as an outlet of frustration, confusion and solitude. What a treasure.

My mind's swirling now... Another crisis is brewing. But I don't feel the pressure and "depression" like the last time. Instead, I'm more willing to accept whatever that's gonna happen. I guess that's life. It's the flame of hope that keeps us going, living on our separate lives. The present situation came to me really unexpected and left me stone for a while, though I thought it might come true somehow, in just the matter of time.

m.a.t.t.
[our gem-precious lives.]

`the bank of time

2006-08-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

The past 5 days I was at OBS (Singapore)... So I couldn't blog. I kinda forgot to blog before leaving too. Haha.. And of course, it was a totally fun and great experience. Go Nila Utama!

Actually before OBS, there was NCOC Briefing '06. On Saturday. Apparently the consent form said 1pm SHARP. Which was obviously a total mistake and a disaster. BLEH. So many Sec2s and 1s came late. After 1pm. At 1.15pm. Latest 1.30pm? God knows. Enough said. Some even came in home clothes. Bleargh. I don't want to say more. Back to the topic. Well, I'm grouped into Platoon F. Not bad, really. At least Weijie's in my group. Haha.. This briefing's really quite cool. There were ice-breaking activities and group gatherings so that we get to know it each other better. (Technically should be.)

The briefing ended around 4+ to my surprise of course. After all, the consent form said 6pm. Lol. So the almost entire group of Sec3s went to Mac's to eat. Including Roy. Haha. Then we were like taking post-lunch a.k.a lunner a.k.a dinch a.k.a high-tea. LOL. It was okay as we talked about tons of SJI-SJAB stuff, with lots of experience shared from Roy. Enlightening...

The evening was like sianed. Everyone wanted to go home and blah blah. So in the end, only Roy, Kevin and me went to J8 to buy stuff and hang out. Sadly, there was no harvest there and we settled down at CoffeeBean to talk. I didn't really know how it happened but we just didn't know and didn't care, and we just talked until 10pm. It was like so fun. After that, we wanted to look for a coffeeshop to have supper, but to no avail and we ended up at Mac's in the end. Haha. The whole thing ended at 10.30pm when we decided to go home. I LOVE talking~

Zoooom. It was OBS on Monday, 21st Aug. Meeting at Punggol Jetty, Kevin and I almost thought we could be grouped in the same watch, as the OBS instructors started to allocate us to our groups according to classes. But no. We got separated into 2 totally different watches on different paths. Oh well. My group is Nila Utama as mentioned earlier. It's a much appreciated watch to me, though eye-power is the dominating power of all. Beware of it. Beware of The Eye.

The morning of the 1st day was mostly admin stuff at Camp 2, or rather the base camp, and unpacking of the store and food. After lunch, we went on to orienteering, I think. Then there was the setting-up of tents and cooking of food. Just to eat dinner is like so mah-fan... Need to wash, wait, cook, pour canned food, empty cans, pry cans, crush cans, wash mess tins, scrub tins and pots, wash again, then put back. =="

Day 2 was better I guess. We began with a light breakfast and then belaying. Well I guess all you will get from it is knowledge and painful thighs caused by the harnesses. Lol. Lunch was tidbits (bleh), but I somehow felt full. Odd. Then we were off to our land-sea expedition on our Tri-Yaks. They're just kayaks that accommodate 3 ppl. No big deal. And worst of all, there's not enough space for the legs. =/ Oh well. I'm the one cramped up in the middle. Zzz.

We had some refreshment lessons then we went around Crab (literally crab. or crap. whatever lol.) Island (which was so-called exclusive to my group and Marco Polo...). As the sun soon set, we just stopped at the Asian Granite Quarry (AGQ) for the night. I totally didn't expect that. It's like we're spending a night at this weird public place. Not within the OBS compound, nor along the borders. It was OUT IN THE OPEN. God that was terrible. We pitched our tents with rocks and started dinner at 7. Grr.. No light. All wet. Tents on the verge of getting blown down. One word to describe it. Suay.

Well there was a small commotion at AGQ which was like OH-SO-EXCITING but I can't say it. I'm sworn to "secrecy". Just to say we had visitors that night. Anyway, we were supposed to have sentry duty and me, being the smart one of course, cliched the 10pm to 11pm shift. Haha. So I can sleep more. =P But it wasn't all that good 'coz I woke up at 1am later on, dozed off while sitting on the jerrycan and then woke up at 2am to find no one doing sentry duty. LOL.

The next day (Day 3) we continued with the great expedition (right...) with kayaking again. Now we have to cut through small meanders and a swamp to the north of Pulau Ubin. I swear I'm NOT entering another swamp. It's so freaking retarded, getting stuck inside without knowing which direction it is to go. What's more: the leaders of the sea expedition didn't bring compasses when we got lost. T_T Well we were late to reach our destination at a gate in the north. Soon our heavy bags were delivered there and we had to start our land expedition. ARGH. We were like so exhausted. Now we're to trek all the way to Camp 1. =="

The bags were uber heavy and of course my shoulders almost crumbled. I laughed off my friend's comment on me looking fragile, as if a light gust will blow me down. Given a push, I would have collapsed on my face. Lol. Luckily this time, we had a map AND compass. We almost lost our way but of course we didn't. We went to Camp 2 again... to my frustration. But gained shortcut and went to Camp 1. YAY.

Camp 1's like a resort. The proclaimed Wonderland. The first time I saw civilisation in days... Okay maybe 2 days. LOL. So there was clean water, nice showers, food that were hailed the best in the world... It was like our saviour. Haha. We really treasured Camp 1, we even bathed for 10min there, went to do all our "big businesses" there. What a relief.

Day 4 was considerably the best of all. Morning was a nice breakfast that greeted us. How nice. Haha. But my watch was late for the morning's activity so we didn't do jetty jumping in the end. Sigh. I was anticipating it... Then we got into our wet gear and we had rafting! Well I wasn't that good at ropes so I was giving quite a handful of eye power... Lol. I did help too, like tightening ropes and lifting poles. But I had stomachache later on so... quite sian. Haha. Oh well. There were nice toilets...

At the end of the raft-building, our raft, S.S. Utama, if I'm not wrong, had to go thru 3 tests. Lift, kick and shake. Pass! Then it entered water. Luckily, despite some ropes being unable to tighten fully and tied to the barrels, it managed to float! Haha. So cool. That sense of achievement was fantastic. I was pretty scared at first, when I saw the other watch's raft dismantle in the water... Lol.

Lunch at the Cookhouse was great, making me full and all. My hungry stomach digested everything quickly I guess and I could do the next activity okay-ly. Lol. Lemme recall... I think it was the Double Dangle Duo or something like that at the Inverse Tower. Some climbing activity. Let's see, I think I had a minor fear of height, but MAINLY the fear of inbalance. I was afraid of falling off. Haii. I didn't manage to go all the way up but it's okay. At least I tried. =)

That evening we set off for Camp 2. Through the same route that we came. Haha. A little tiring but it was good. We pitched our tents at the higher ground, the one where all the climbing/flying activities were held. So cool. There was ample light source, abundance of wind and sufficient ground. The ground wasn't as hard as the one at Camp 1 too... Dinner was a little screwed 'coz we didn't have place to cook at first, but I guess it's alright, considering the fact that I got oh-so-fed-up that I couldn't be bothered to cook. I just say somewhere else and talked to my friends. HA. Dinner was okay, just that the sardines all disappeared somehow.

The last day, Day 5, started off well. The previous night gave me a wonderful sleep. I didn't even know the light source was flickering on and off thru the night, nor the dogs that fought. Lol. Well it was, as expected, packing up of the store and tents. I did alot of stuff okay... Eye power was low. Haha. I guess the most fun thing was 'finding' things that we didn't have. Erm. Hehe. But the entire pack-up wasn't that good. We had a torn poncho and a missing spacer. Bleh. $12.60. Sheesh.

After the packup, we didn't manage to do the jetty jump but we had a commitment dive. A little boring but there was the issuing of the certs after some reflection and evaluation. OBS overall was great. Although I'm not really favouring the outdoor thing. Oh yea, remember the torn poncho? My group signed on the whole thing with a black marker and gave it to our instructor. Haha! Anyway, during reflection, my instructor, Samatha, mentioned something that really got me thinking.

"Think of time as a bank. The time everyday is an investment. Your account opens with 86400 dollars and is renewed everyday. The amount is cleared automatically at the end of everyday and there'll be no balance. You can either use up every cent by withdrawing, or deposit, losing more time. Of course, you would want to withdraw more; you won't want to lose your money." I suppose it really came to me. The fact that I'm wasting a lot of time sometimes and complain that there ain't enough time, it's kinda all my fault. I should be withdrawing, not talk talk talk and deposit every second that I waste talking.

"Procrastination is the thief of time." She told us. It's all pretty true. I thought over it. I should really do some reflecting. Stop wasting your time. Stop depositing. Make full use of the Bank of Time.

OBS ended. I left. With a huge sense of achievement and enjoyment. We left for Punggol Jetty. The sight of OBS faltered as the boat steered away. The last time we would be going to OBS, Singapore. It stirred a lot of feelings within me. But I guess I can't really say it out. I can't write it out either. Unexplainable. ... ... ... ... I took bus 82 out with Weijie and Andy. Andy left for the MRT. Both of us wanted to take cab. No cab in 30 minutes. Bought drinks. Went to another main road. Went back to take bus 136 to Ang Mo Kio. Walked a distance to another bustop. Waited for bus 162 home. What a swirl. I slept on 136, leaving Weijie bored. Lol. I was really tired. But it seems that I've been sleeping a lot on buses. I think it's a habit now. No good. Hmm.

I came home around 4pm. The moment I came home, put down my bag, took out my wallet etc., I sat on my chair and sub-consciously, I dozed off. Woke up only when Kevin called me. Lol. That was like 6pm I think. I am THAT tired. Hoho. And I wanted to blog yesterday night. I ended up dozing halfway through so I decided to blog today. I even wanted to change my blogskin today, but I'm not sure if I can tonight. Oh well. Hope I don't collapse of fatigue.

OBS. Nila Utama Watch.

21st to 25th August 2006. ^^

m.a.t.t.
[a fine piece of machinery, the human body.]

`sarcasm over-rule

2006-08-18T22:00:00.000+08:00

I'm back everyone! Lol. From the long and drudging war with the supremacists called Common Tests. The battle was a dread but luckily, I'm back here, safe and sound. I was pretty lucky to escape the clutches of the chronicles of Essays. They were such mean things.

Okay okay back to reality. That was really stupid.. Yes, I finally finished my common tests. I'm like SO happy because, I PASSED my English. HAHA. I've been struggling over the faint line between ~~life and death~~ pass and fail. For the first time, I achieved C5 (57%). It's something to celebrate! Lol. Today was pretty crucial, since some teachers were like giving back the marks and test papers. A2 for Physics! (Finally...) And surprisingly, I managed a 9/12 for my S.S. essay. I triumphed against the chronicles! That calls for TRIPLE celebration! LOL.

Enough said about Term 3. It's over anyway, though I'm very uncertain over my results. I think it's like my first time mugging this year. Or rather actually even focussing on my academics. Isn't that cool? Okay lol but no. As usual, I'm in my hype-and-totally-suffering-from-mild-hysteria mood. Something that I developed due to the common tests. Probably it's the 4-hour sleeps that's causing this phenomenon. Sounds so drastic. Blah.

SJI-SJAB so far has been well. I'm like in so many dilemmas these few days. Besides my academics, I still have St. John to think of. It's been a few days since I'm stuck in that conflict between Ronn and me, while I fight for the cause of something, but without a proper standing. After several troubled nights, thinking that I'm just so screwed up, the entire thing just ended with 2 hours of peace summit in school. Basically, it's just discussion, no bombardment of obscenities, sarcasm or what-so-ever. It worked like magic. I'm totally impressed. (This is not sarcasm. Mind you.)

The thought of me, actually being able to acquire a new level of sarcasm over this period of stress, was quite... weird. I kinda picked it up over various issues. I've even learned how to suan Alwyn. LOL. Don't take it to heart Alwyn, I'm just a bit hyper. BUT, to actually say that some people who really deserve that sarcasm is an understatement. I mean, it's like if you like to overwhelm me with your rainbow vocabulary, by all means, look at the mirror. You would find it more... exciting.

I like my own smile. Lol. Like Roy said it, I should smile more and don't be overly-obsessed with SJI-SJAB. It'll really be problematic. SMILE, Matthew. To be honest, I don't really give that wide grin/smile that often, considering the fact how I stone without noticing and am not amused with some ice-cold 'jokes'. Of course, I'll try to brighten up. Let's see, I shall aim for a week of good-mood-ness. What a break-through if I can do it. LOL.

When I get too stressed up, I tend to day-dream. Then the most queer thing that I ever dreamt of was to die in a car accident. It's not random though, and I really did process that idea. I'll probably die young if it were for a car accident. Of course, I'll prefer to die for some self-sacrificial reason, like saving someone else from getting hit and I get killed myself, or something like that. LOL. But that's so not going to happen. I'm a good pedestrian. A very obedient one too.

Tomorrow's like NCOC Briefing Day. I was wondering, why 5 hours. I hope it's not estimated inefficiency. Just joking...! I guess it'll be some sort of grouping arrangement, while we settle the money and those stuff. Hope it'll be fast and quick. And yea it's cool since it's held at Mayflower Sec. It's pretty near~ Haha..

*blink blink* Okay I'm getting sleepy now. Like at 10pm.. Well, it all owes to the irregular sleeping hours I've been having the past few days. From 12mn, I shifted bedtime to 1.30am. So much for mugging so late. I better score well... Okay I better go and sleep or something, before I actually sleep right here on my table in front of the computer. That will be like so painful.

Hold on a second. Next week's OBS. Darn. More sleepless nights, at a foreign land. I just hope I don't get grouped with some guy who'll probably piss me off the moment I know him. Won't be that coincidental right? LOL.

m.a.t.t.
[seemingly emo.]

`i... don't care

2006-08-13T14:00:00.000+08:00

I'm taking a break off my studying to blog. Lol. I just had tuition and it was all MATHS. Golly. I'm gonna die of maths. Trigo trigo trigo... bleh. It's driving me nuts. Better stop doing... (This is not an excuse. =D)

Apparently I haven't updated for quite some time... I wasn't in the mood to. I'm focussed on my school work, St. John stuff, and most of all, mandopop. ^^ I was borrowing Roy's cds to listen; Kaira Gong's 好, 诗嘉 and Fan Fan's 我们的纪念日. I love Kaira's songs, esp. her National Day songs. Lalala... Fan Fan's songs are weird. Not my type.

Did I mention, I bought FLIGHT TRIBE? YAY. Lol. F.I.R.'s my idol group~ They rock~! For this album, they tried different styles of singing, much different from their previous 2 albums. Some songs are really cool, like I don't care and 雨樱花. Just love them... I don't care's about a breakup and how they started the song was with an argument. "Let go of me!" *abish* "I don't care. It's over!" New style.

POP was before AP started last week. It was okay. I was a li'l tense and nervous. Oh well. It's over already, and we've taken over. But it's sad to see Taurus pass out, really. After all, they did contribute much to SJI SJAB and inhibited certain changes, to my liking. (Surprisingly) Now I don't really like the feeling of taking over. I don't know how to express it, but I'll rather become a cadet. I can't believe I'm actually feeling like this now - I just took over. Bleh.

AP that day was rather boring. During the parade, I mean. I almost fell asleep. ==" And yes, I almost fell over. It's so retarded. Luckily I was more awake after the march pass and became more observant. After the entire event ended, my mum came and took photos of course. She even managed to take a pic of Norman, Weijie and me. HAHA. It's cool how my mum remembers Norman. =D Anyway, it was back at the chapel where we usually ended off. It was quite sentimental, but I think I was rather confused. I didn't have time to react to anything. When Taurus came shaking hands and all, it was quite odd. Seriously. Marcus was appearing to be drunk somehow. I don't know.. Then Matthias was quite emotional... I can understand. Okay so we were back in the room having a briefing about our takeover. Full-stop. Then when we finished, we went to... TAKE MORE PHOTOS. Heehee. Kuanhuai, send me the photos!

Yesterday was Flag Day. I was in a group that went along with Weijie and Norman. Haha. We're always sticking together. Roy came along~ Then we split up when we reached Suntec. It was pretty boring in the morning. We went along the stretch at Marina Square and Esplanade, then I paired the rest of the group up to start. Then Roy and I went around, to Esplanade and Raffles Place. It was still boring: talking to tourists and stuff. Some were quite generous. Like $10. =D But I couldn't communicate with some of them, especially with the Japanese. At least if they're Chinese, I could ask them. I can't speak Jap. -.-

Anway, we walked an entire big round at Raffles Place! LOL. But it was really stupid, at what happened at the underpass. I'm still laughing it off... We went down this side of the underpass. Then only the going-down elevator wasn't working. So we had to walk down. When we were going up another underpass at the other side, the going-up wasn't working. Then we had to walk up. ==" Why like that. As if it's a punishment like that... Lol. Since business wasn't good and all, we had lunch, then set off for Raffles City. Weee... It was so much better. We were basically at the junction of City Hall MRT and the Capitol Building. Not bad huh.

It's not bad really. I realised I became more thick-skinned. LOL. I was practically asking people who donated already. But some are really generous. There was this guy who had 3 stickers, but still donated! Singaporeans have a kind side after all. Haha. It was about time to go back to HQ at 3+. Then we were like so tired. Bleh. Couldn't wait to get my butt on a chair. Anyway, there was packing up of tins and all, which lasted until 5 I think. Oh well. Actually I don't mind coming for Flag Day again. I just have to give that nice WIDE smile of mine and the "Good Afternoon, would you like to donate?" speech. Ahahaha...

Sigh. Time flies and flag day's over. Now it's common tests next. I've studied A Maths already, as I mentioned. Now I'm gonna rip Biology! (No I didn't spell 'rip' wrongly.) And I'm skipping lunch. Believe me, I'm actually getting bored of lunch. Zzz. That's me.

m.a.t.t.
[假装.]

`muaha

2006-08-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

Life's alright so far, I think. Hm. Thoughts can be deceiving... LOL. Okay today's fine lah. I thought I was being less pissed today. Reflecting sure helps.. I mean, I really thought over my angst and all. Guess I realised I was just feeling a li'l over, that's all. But overall, Pb still is a wrecked thing. What to do?

Physics SPA today, first period of the day. It was kind of funny, 'coz we were told to go straight to the labs instead of going back to class. Then lugging our bags we went there, but the labs were not opened, not until 5 min later. Hehe. Not much of a difference. Then the SPA was about refractive index. The glass block is so... screwed, I can't exactly read my last reading... T_T

The day goes by... until after school. It was basically boring. To my luck, no one pissed me off today. HAHA. I'm so happy. (Can't you see I'm easily happy over small matters? LOL.) I'm feeling abit high now. Probably due to F.I.R.'s song: 我要飛. Haha... I wanna fly~ I wanna jump~ I wanna feel over the moon~ Lol.

Tying in to what happened after school. Meeting with Kuanhuai and Kevin.L to do departmental stuff. Then I saw Ronn and Alwyn sitting in another part of the canteen, doing some stuff. You know, those top-2-only-and-no-one-else stuff. =P But then they were discussing over the i/c posts too. I'm frustrated. Take up of 2 posts? I'm gonna go mad. Lucky it's not finalised. Hehe.

Flight Tribe is released in Singapore, already. But I can't buy it - NO time. Argh. It's so near, yet so far. I hate this. The way Roy described the album is like so.. good~ and it's rated 8/10. Hmph. Why the misery. The album's inclusive of some previous MVs too... Aahhh!

m.a.t.t.
[who's calling shots.]

`like whatever

2006-08-01T20:00:00.000+08:00

Cool. I got the time to blog. Haha... It's really fun to have a school holiday tmr, though I have to do a weird reflection w/s. Bleh. Sounds really bleargh but oh well. At least I get a day off from Pb.

Know what's Pb. It stands for Pandora's box if u didn't know. and if u read my previous post, you'll know what it represents. Why day off? 'Coz its just another sickening day, to be staying in class. Argh. Look, ppl don't take photos of you in a bad situation and someone "advertise" it, making u what, lose face? Okay I agree S'poreans 爱面子 (and I do too) but well, I certainly didn't expect it from SJI. and in sec THREE. Besides being F-ing insulting and humiliating, (and though I was partly in wrong), show my some F-ing respect. unless you've got the reason that you don't know what does "respect" mean.

Another thing: ppl seem to like bullying, or victimising other people, especially in smaller sizes. It's like totally a part of their lifestyle or something. If it happened in sec2 or sec1, I won't really like despise it or something - kids. But for god's sake, u're freaking sec3s. what, you like the idea of getting bullied? ever heard of "Pick on someone your own size."? like whatever. I'm sick of it. u jolly well stop it, or I'll probably get so pissed that.. u don't even know what I can do to u. TSK.

Enough said about Pb. I should really get my head of it - the more I think of it, the more I get angry about it. I guess I should just calm myself down by assuming Pb's hopeless. Nah. It's just pretty pathetic. 烂摊子...

Hm. AP's like in a week. sob. Partly I can't bear to take over, yet somehow I want to. Bleh. I mean, though there may be tough times, but cadet life's so unforgettable... sob. I can't bear to depart that life. Haii. There's departmental work, and there's academics. Hopefully I find a solution fast to save myself from the deepening well of getting lost.

Today was pretty fine I guess. (Besides Pb.) After Maths Olympiad, I was discussing stuff with Kevin, until K&K came along to piss me off again. Then after tao-ing them, Fab visited me. LOL, he was making a song with my phone. not bad neh, it's a rather nice melody, though soft as compared to the previous... Oh well, it's not complete... right? Lol.

I actually had a talk with Dad about my JC/Uni/Career kinda stuff. It was totally rare and all. but I guess it was pretty good. I mean at least I somehow know what I want to do in JC and well probably what I want to do and be in the future. I can't say I confirmed it - after all, ideas and concepts may change in the course of growing up, or old. Think it's too early...? I've got no idea but it's good to think about it now huh? Get my focus straight.

Darn common tests. 2 weeks from now. T_T I'm like so unprepared. BUCK UP. lol. I better start revising, and do practices. Not like last 2 terms - I totally screwed myself up. Well, if I am going to get top 20, I better start planing the drastic measures to salvage my plight. Hehe.. Sounds really bad...

Speaking of drastic measures, I desperately want my F.I.R album... Ahhh! I need it. Besides this album, I actually borrowed Dancing Diva from Roy le. Haha... It's okay but I thought J-Top was pretty much better than this new album, though there are really hip songs that are awesome like Mr. Q and 玩美. weee... 假装's not bad either. I keep humming the tune now and then. HAHA. Getting li'l crazy over Jolin...

Oh well, hopefully I can get my hands onto Flight Tribe ASAP. I'm yearning for it...

m.a.t.t.
[i want to fly.]

`get away from me

2006-07-30T14:29:00.000+08:00

It's been more than 2 weeks since I last blogged. Well I suppose it ain't that bad, considering how busy I was. I'm so gonna kill myself for even blogging now, when I'm supposed to do my homework. Ha... Right. *pause* Maybe it wasn't me being busy; I didn't feel like blogging over the weeks. Feeling blue.

Exams are around the corner, and what have I done to help myself? Nothing. Argh. It is damn irritating when you know you're supposed to do something, so important, yet you can't bring yourself to do it. Call me retarded but I'm seriously overdue. Overdue = expired = can't take it no more. I mean, when almost everything around you suck, you get that feeling that you suck too. Bleh.

Look at 332. Look at it like a Pandora's box. Pandora's box has all misfortunes and evil in it. Well not everyone are the contents of it. I'm not being assertive here but when you get tired of all the crap you receive, you know it. This is such a bad example. Maybe I should use something more... full of idiocy. Hm.

So much for those pecks of dust which are irritating me: AP's around the corner! Partly, I am happy that Scorpio's taking over soon, yet sad to see Taurus pass out... It's pretty stupid for things like that incident to happen, like now. Seriously, I can't believe it's gonna affect Scorpio. I mean, yes, I do feel that it's pretty unfair... but I guess I'm gonna have to accept it, whether I like it or not.

Scorpio's posts are almost confirmed now, but hey, some people just can't get over the fact that other people got posts. C'mon, I'm sure they deserve it. Not like those people whose attitude really shows the 'I'm gonna take over and I'm gonna have lots of authority' crap. If that's what you think, then no wonders why you didn't end up with something. Look at your bloody discipline.

I don't know what to do... What to do with Scorpio. I've had had enough. Sigh. Nevermind.

This is so anti-climax. I am going to buy F.I.R's new album, 飞行部落! LOL. According to Roy, Singapore hasn't released the album yet. How crude: F.I.R's already hittin' the top charts of 封神榜 at no. 7 and we can't buy it yet. Argh. It's so grueling... I can't wait to buy it... *sniff* I shall persist and wait for it's release then.

光芒 / F.I.R

在久旱未雨的地方
被谎言围绕着的村庄
泪水被蒸发
经历一个世纪的迷惘希望被风化
梦想难道都是奢望

I just want
找一个方向找一种力量
让等待的大雨会落下
展开了翅膀将悲伤都释放
挣开那捆绑

有一个方向有一种力量
就朝着梦里风景出发
在大雨之后的第一道彩虹
耀眼的光芒

刺穿已枯萎的幻想
用生命呐喊巨大声响
充满了希望
纵然冷漠是一道灰墙
谁又该沮丧
因为你而感动而坚强

Shed me some light.
Enlighten me.

m.a.t.t.
[life's never easy.]

`respect

2006-07-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

sometimes I find myself wondering how could I even find time blogging when I got so much work to do. haha. it's really weird when I tell myself, "u gotta do your homework!! u still lots to do!!" and contradicting myself, I would indulge in other stuff like listening to music, watching mvs, blog-hoppin' etc. I can't stand myself sometimes...

anyways, today was pretty okay, just rather tired. mentally tired. well, I've been trying to get myself on my original course of work, that is to mug. lol. I can't stand the fact that I keep getting crap grades now. SO, I try hard to keep myself awake and be attentive. well I could say the funniest thing that happened to me today was during history elect. lesson. I still can't believe what I said. okay so Ms Feroz was talking about ..uh.. RI. relative importance of points in an essay. then Jethro told me, why not SJI. then i led my mind to thinking of sth. along that line. unexpectedly, I kinda dozed off. with no idea what my mind was actually thinking, I spouted nonsense. "why not 'solution' sth...?" then I paused and stunned. wth?!

okay so aside from that, I was pretty pissed after that. as a human, like u and I, we all got dignity you know. so can this K guy (from 332) effing stop disrespecting me as if I'm some alienated freak-of-nature? and mind YOU, it's not your freakin' first time. whatever. full-stop. talk about perverse mindsets. UGH.

AP rehearsal~ well I just figured out that I'm so outta practice. can't even stay at attention for 20min? bleh. I guess I'll be fine after subsequent rehearsals... lol. nothing much. just pretty elated from borrowing Jolin Tsai's j-top album. lalala... thnx Roy. hehe. albums albums. hmm... I realised I want so many albums now. there's 蔡依林's 舞孃, then 范瑋琪's 我們的紀念日, 范逸臣's 放生 and 張懸's My Life Will. oh god... hopefully I can borrow from others.... ^^"

so much for the depression over the whole regret thing. argh. I'm over with it. now focus on your workload! basically I just got another disappointment over my O Level MT Oral Exam. I'll probably go retake it if I were to get less than an A. seriously. putting that one side, i've got another busy schedule ahead of me, with pre-occupied subsequent saturdays... zzz. SJI Info Day, AFA, Cycling Course etc. I better know how to manage my time...

enough said. I better get on with my homework now. HAHA.

m.a.t.t.
[heavy eyelids.]

`why

2006-07-10T18:00:00.000+08:00

All i could do was stare. simply stare... at those pain-staking marks that appeared on the screen. the screen, that displayed those ugly marks, that showed SJAB Nat. Comp.'s results. stare...

I was lost. as soon as we were dismissed, as soon as the team gathered, as josephians gathered, as we helplessly silently mourn over the "ninth". my depression took quite some while to sink into myself. the first feeling was sadness.

It's been 2 weeks that we spent over this. lack of practice? possible. {don't blame urself Zixiang. u were a great help...} come to think of it, the last week we've been through has gelled us so well, as if we were back to the zone comp. last year. those moments. i'm at a loss for words now so i'm like so messed up. as a team, we won 2 zone comps. now. we've come thus far and there we were at nat. comp., all full of pride and zest, getting ready for the great event.

sadness was really overwhelming at first. then i sort of shook it off, proceeding for dinner at J8. i feel kinda pathetic. what im thinking is that, i wanted to hide the fact that we lost within me. when i got on the bus home along with weijie, it just took over as i sat in silence. that unhappiness was crawling in me. ugh.

i finally get the feeling of defeat.. i finally understood how gemini felt, how taurus felt. how they felt as they left as a team all looking very glum as well as they left in a cab last year..

one thing that puzzles me so much.. i jus cannot understand how they recovered, becoz i feel as if i have fallen so deeep, so deep that i really do not know where to go. I do not know where to start from, what went wrong?? how are we going to pick our selves up??

extracted from Ronn's blog. that certainly describes partly what i felt. its like a huge boulder just weighed upon my heart. it's really depressing, and yea, how do we pick up? seriously, i felt pretty bad yesterday, so bad, i didn't bother to do anything after bathing and just went straight to sleep. the thought about the long case and how i "contributed", it was o-so-spastic. argh..

esprit de Scorpion

Your stories end today
Deep in faith and sincere pray
Some words you say, God did hear
Yet cosmic turns you in the rear
But a story ends is another's start
A pursuit of dream with all your heart
Your spirit and faith to conquer all
Will be won by victory next fall

a poem by Roy. a big thanks... somehow, i keep telling myeslf, there's still next year, but it's difficult for me to think that way. today at PSE, we were writing our goals. subconsciously, i wrote about Nat. Comp. next year. i took some time to analyse the situation and all. i suppose i kinda understood those obstacles in our way...

but.it's over isn't it? no point crying over spilt milk, no need to keep looking back at what we could have done or moaning over that loss of marks. time to move on. well, whether we did put in the best effort or not, what was learnt was invaluable. to put it simply, we now know the real standards of our opponents. we now know what's right, what's wrong. what's disapproved, what's suggested. time to put it into practice, and work hard for the next competition.

another extract, from Weijie's blog. well, its true we didn't know much of our opponents. of course, we still have much more to do, to perfect, to brush up, to polish, to refine, and to get our heads thinking right. i wouldn't say we were arrogant..., were we? or complacent? that was something someone said at Nat. Comp. oh well, who cares about him.

much of my reflection so far, i think i've loosened up quite a bit. after all, stressed is desserts spelt the opposite way, as quoted from Zx's blog. hehe. The best is yet to be, especially from us, TS.

m.a.t.t.
[enlightenment.]

`dilemma

2006-07-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

It's 2 days to Nat. Comp. and here i am, suffering from dry cough. lil phlegm and no flu. -.- its like some irrational thing. stuck in my throat and will terrorise me when i talk. wth. i better get well...

School ended at 12.30 today 'coz the teachers had to attend some EXCEL fest thing by the MOE. bleh. anw, comp. training proceeded till like 5+. it was pretty effective, i must say. under almost all aspects, i kinda understood what i actually needed to work on. lol. jia you to me, to the other members and Team Scorpio!

I can't so make up my mind. there was this short meeting for PSLs who are interested in being a PSF. basically, it takes quite a lot of time, then there are mainly 3 things to do after qualification: retreat, psltc and orientation camp. i got the form, yea, but the only thing bugging me is the tight schedule and me handling my work. it's like i lost it last 2 terms, and i want to buck up~! =x what to do... another weighing matter is lltc facil. so it's either psf or lltc facil. ARGH.

Apparently, i just came back from sji. The Taming Game was playing earlier. not bad actually. the twists in the screenplay really captured my attention, esp. Kate's character. lalala. shrew. LOL. nah. i like the char. for its diverse faces of play. hehe. the entire play was actually quite funny, though boring sometimes. of course, i had Norman to talk to at some parts. =P Anws, i took quite some photos before the play and during the interval. cool~

Anxiety overwhelms me. Nat. Comp.! it's at GYPS on sunday. eeeee... save me. i'm already fallin' apart.

m.a.t.t.
[strong front.]

`fly away

2006-07-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

argh. i can't adapt. can't adapt to this freaking term. *blink* and one week's gone. just moments ago i was in Shanghai, then SJAB camp, then comp. trainings... *poof* LLTC started. *zooooom* i'm back in school. trudging into my homework fantasy. *sarcasm* oh god. time really flies.

to reiterate my point, i shall present *drum rolls* my past. which means like a few days ago.

Friday was totally messed up. except for the night. it was SJAB day. yadayada. everyone's anticipating a promotion... there you have it, pure humiliation. *ugh* i can't believe i had to crawl like a dog. ==" i'm so ****ing disgusted.

The Gathering of Kindred Spirits. *cool off* weijie and i actually went back home to change before we went back to school and watch the concert. i wouldn't say it's totally good. but some parts of it were rather boring. (shan't say anything. *lips pursed*) anw, what really rocked was the hiphop dances. by a sji+other ppl group and IJ girls one. really groovy. hhaha. and the free radicals were not bad too. soft rock~ the only thing that bothered me was the SCREAMS and SHOUTS. zzz. it's in the PAC. not some rock concert hall. want a concert, go to the indoor stadium.

Saturday was the day we have all been waiting for. Singapore Youth Festival Opening Ceremony. lalala. it was fantastic. really. the atmosphere was very high, the scene was magnificent and grand. gosh. wonderful event. i was part of the Synchronised Kaleidoscope that day which was accompanying the Choir. lalala. pompoms and capes. hehe. it was so fun... then, there were the 3 bands who vied for the SYF trophy thing. i'm great TKSS won actually. hehe. and it was so cool - Zhiyang and Teresa from CSS came to sing the theme song for this year, Reaching Beyond. haha. ## But when the entire event ended, we were told (last minute) to move out to the bus area. diao. i didn't know until 106 was leaving (the class i took was 104). ==" got scolded somemore.

Anw, when we were back in school, we did so much lame stuff. (me, weijie, ronn, andy, randall and kangwei) omg. it was totally lame. we were taking vids with the water cooler. who ever knew we could do like 5 diff vids with that one water cooler? LOL.

Yesterday. MILK Run. -.- Outram MRT for shuttle buses. reached there. yet we don't know which exit to go. had to trial and error... i was supposed to report at 2.15pm, but was late and reached there at 2.45pm. we were supposed to take attendance then go for the run. after which then can go home le. well. ### in the end, we went to far east, which only half of the group was left. diao.

Today. i feel terribly sian. i slept for quite some time instead of doing homework. i should be doing homework now even. tsk me. sigh. have to rush them later. the week ahead is equally busy... Nat. Comp.'s in 6 days. oh dear. i need a break. i'm falling...

m.a.t.t.
[aww.]

`woops

2006-06-29T20:00:00.000+08:00

hey, came up to make a short post here. i just realised my tagboard is down. so when i went to look up the website, myflashbox, they say their changing server~ cool. supposedly it'll return to norm on saturday night. bleh. sorry for the inconvenience caused. LOL. can't tagg. ='(

anw, im quite busy these days. today i just had my chem. practical. boring. quarantine time is so long. did like 20% of my physics hw le. lol. i even napped before being quarantined. lalala... oh yea. tmr's SJAB day. report 6.40am in full U. bleh. oh well. let's look forward to Kindred Spirits instead! haha. i can't wait...

m.a.t.t.

[bbq-prone.]

`hate me

2006-06-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

that was one long no-update-ness. basically, after i came back from LLTC on 23rd..., i was so tired that i slacked that night and 24th as well. sleeping for almost the entire day. then on sunday, i was busy rushing my pile of unfinished homework...

LLTC rocks~! haha. i won't touch much on every itsy-bitsy detail during the camp, 'coz there's just too much. and i don't have time either. so it was a 5-day camp. grouped into Oliver with supposedly 9 other josephians and patricians. coincidentally, ernest was in my group, and so did matt khoo... so the others are okay bah. didn't really talk much on the first day (as usual).

we did Walk the Talk on the first day, something i didn't expect, AT ALL. i mean, whoever has a hike on the first day of ur camp, and from SJI to St. Anthony's somemore. ==" but i guess it was nice bonding around, getting to know my groupmates. then the day went on... until bath time. it's probably weird for us sji guys who have been bathing in the nude for almost 3 years now, while the sps guys bathe in their undies and other garments. ain't it the same before and after bathing. lol.

2nd day. the commence of the lectures. our first contact with them. i suppose we all paid attention for that day's lectures. something odd. oh yea. dragon-boating came in the afternoon. omg it's totally fun~ the weather's cool that day, since it rained in the morn. lalala. i can't wait to go dragon-boating again...

3rd day. something was mentioned about midway or halfway syndrome, in which everyone starts to get tired and lethargic. then during the lectures, people start off with O.O eyes wide open, until -_-zzZZ... lol. well there goes the same for me too... hehe. ^^" afternoon came along, with the hot blazing sun, and we went to amk ITE for the ropes course. uber boring. wait wait wait, that's what we do. i went on wired course and i guess its okay, just don't look down, and u'll be fine. apparently, that night we had al fresco dining which means outdoor meal. it was pretty good actually - teochew porridge and cup of water. and oliver rox. we didn't complain and accepted the meal with modesty, while others complain until as if their funeral wasn't done properly or something. =p

4th day. Journey with a Dream. basically my group went to the 1-room flats at toa payoh to help the old folks clean up their house. it was so fun and meaningful. and yea haha, u won't believe me, but its like the first time for me using the mop. xD anyway, the first elderly we went to was a ex-police officer. (pro~) his home was pretty clean. so we just swept and mopped. cool leh. haha. that night was the last night, and we had some time for affirmation... during the camp, those who want to affirm others were to put their slips of paper into the others' own ~~vomit~~ box. and yes everyone had one. haha. but not with them of course. so that night, i received so many affirmations~ so cool. so touched. *tears* =')

5th day. nothing much but lectures. skipped that day's morning run due to heavy rain.. and basically we packed up. so we exchanged msn adds, phone numbers and all.

overall right, it was really cool. well let's not talk about those morning runs at macritchie bah. haha. did i tell about how lame my group was? on the first day, we were walking right? then we were supposed to carry this heavy bag and this egg named after our group "Oliver" as well. so that night, we named our mascot: Oliver Walker. - keep walking~ then we drew an egg doing wht johnny walker would do... lalala. i'm lovin' it. =D

and of course, not to forget all those new friends i made there, be they josephian or patrician. then i renewed and strengthened some old friendships too. feel so happy to be around with my friends again. haii.. in the end, it must end.

so yesterday was the start of school. maybe i was used to those lectures at lltc, that i almost dozed off during a lesson. paiseh... but im really tired. oh dear. after recess, i had to go for syf rehearsal. omg. the weather's so freakin' hot. somehow or rather, they were short of props as well, then i just wore that red shirt and beige pants... despite the hot sun that burnt my arms and face away, i guess it was all worth it when we had a preview of those school band finalists performances, namely tanjong katong sec, deyi and bowen. they were all pretty good actually. but i'll support... Bowen! haha. they were really fantastic lor, with female drum major somemore leh.. cool. ^^

life gets back to normal after returning back to school. went to eat dinner with weijie at burger king. do some hw too. but actually also nothing to do. we were chattin' away, talking about stuff like his national camp thingy. lol.

so today. boring, like duh. school's only fun when its not lessons or exams. lol. everything else is good. oh well. had this biology SPA in the afternoon, with a uniform check before that. nothing much. kinda tiring. even for the practical which we sat down. wanna doze off~ anyway, my form teacher's like away for a week, so mr bernard low's teaching us. so sad... no new timetable. i was anticipating it lor. how u want me to cope with this crap timetable... T_T

life goes on, for now. i can't wait to get my hands on some albums... haha. anyway, support the EXAMS haters club~! lalalala... ^^

m.a.t.t.
[oliver walker.]

Gone

2006-06-18T18:00:00.000+08:00

I'm off to LLTC (Lasallian Leadership Training Camp) tmr~ won't be around for, well, at least the next 5 days. bye.

m.a.t.t.
[tired.]

Number 5 Quiz

2006-06-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

10 years ago I was:
some young kid who has a year-old brother to irritate him.

5 years ago I was:
some fella who can't be bothered about homework.

1 year ago I was:
a comp. team member. a 4th man. a sec 2.

5 snacks I enjoy:
ice-cream.
ruffles and lays.
white chocolate.
chewing gum.
oreo cookies.

5 songs I know all the words to: *ponders* (almost)
痛彻心扉 - 张栋梁
我们的爱 - F.I.R
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
爱疯了 - 戴佩妮
远远在一起 - 龚诗嘉

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
get some friends and tour greece and switz.
tour egypt and/or tibet, maybe new zealand again.
give like half of it to my parents.
save the rest in the bank.
get some nice clothes?

5 places I would run away to:
home.
toilet.
hongkong.
new zealand.
my friends' house(s).

5 things I would never wear: =="
skirts.
dresses.
basically women clothes.
makeup.
wigs.

5 favorite tv shows:
金枝玉孽 - Cantonese Drama
皆大欢喜 - Ditto
康熙来了 - Taiwanese Show
MTV
General food shows. LOL.

5 bad habits:
gossiping.
口是心非 sometimes.
getting distracted by comp.
gaming.
sadism.

5 biggest joys:
champs. at zone comp.
hols are over soon.
gifts.
laughter.
-

5 favorite toys:
i'm 15 years old. please.

5 people I tag to do this:
forget this.

m.a.t.t.
[randomness.]

I'm lovin' It

2006-06-16T20:30:00.000+08:00

Woohoo~ I love my blogskin. I love my blogskin. I LOVE MY BLOGSKIN. hahaha... i've been thinking of this skin for a long time. and i mean a VERY long time. i can't believe i actually made it, myself. *beams* hehe. thanks to my dear visitors for their great appraisals~ maybe i should consider putting this up on blogskins.com when i'm finished with this skin or when i wanna make another... well, that'll be a long long time later. hahaha...

Oh yes, i haven't blogged for an entire week now. well there were comp. trainings yea? then i'm like super busy. 'coz training was like from 11am to 5pm, waking up at 9+ doesn't help much either... tired me. and darn, i haven't done my homework yet. zzz. i'll just doze off looking at my homework which just enacts the Leaning Tower of My-Homework to me. lol lame joke.

Movies must be one of the great wonders of my life, out of the few that i actually even consider... lol. i can't stop watching 'em. like last week, i watched the fantastic Cars. then like yesterday night, i watched United93, about this 4th hijacked plane that was supposed to hit one of America's towering skyscrapers, borrowed from weijie. like omg, i actually cried watching it. *sobsob* It's like its so sad watching the ppl on board call back home and tell them, "... i'm calling back to say goodbye..." Rating: 8.5/10

Apparently the movie didn't get a 9 'coz there were some major loopholes... for example: 1. how on earth did the passengers on board get to call home using their mobile phones. u mean we can use our phone, getting the same network connection as those so-called phones that is provided by the plane? if so, that's way too weird but if not, the movie's logically wrong. lol. 2. How did a plane land in some farmland, leaving a large hole with the shape and size of the plane, but no debris?! it's super confusing and i'm like: "the plane's disappeared into thin air...?" =="

Forget those sorrowful moments now, before i go crying all over again. (i think i cried even after watching the movie. lol... no idea why.) Team Scorpio. haii. really disheartening to see us train so little. time is restricting us to a matter of days to train for a national competition. zzz. and yes, national. oh well. all the best to us~ let's just put our greatest effort into it and at least not lose without dignity...

Kuanhuai's birthday was like 2 days ago. made a card for him, got [some] ppl to sign it and yea! we gave the card to him~ glad you liked it! hehe. the qantas plane's kinda weird though... i think it's kinda short, but i suppose (as weijie say) it's cute for a short chubby plane. LOL.

Okay enough of blogging. Time to do homework. hehe. i doubt i can do much too... i'm rather "xin bu zai yan". feeling slack now. lol. cya.

m.a.t.t.
[tears.]

My Route

2006-06-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

I just so love Cars. they rock~! apparently i watched it yesterday with weijie at J8. it's like u won't think it would be such a fantastic and funny yet educational animated film when u hear the movie "cars". but oh yea~, it's just wonderful. Rating: 9/10

Okay so there was this route, Route 66, of this town called radiator springs the lead car was at. it's kinda desolated from the world. so it kinda reminds me of my dream route, my dream world. lol. just secluded, leading my own life, not inteference of any other fidiots. just my loved ones... my frens... my family... cool. haha.

My world. at present. sucks. well basically it revolves alot around my frens, which is like super fantastic. but sometimes frens can be just... *ugh*-ish. not frens-frens. as in rather close frens. i mean, inferring something ain't equals to assuming things. it's just so stupid, justifying stuff that u assumed which is not true. probably misunderstandings, but rambling on and on, proving that stupid point, just gets u nowhere man.

My world. yep. blur and fuzzy. like my specs. lol. out of point. in some way, it just clouds my vision. i don't even know whether i'm... me. i wake up in the morning, asking: where am i. in your room. whst am i doing here. living to eat and sleep and rot and die. oh yea. tada~

As i was saying, i watched Cars with weijie. before that, we went to chill out at KFC and BK to do hw and study and stuff. apparently, it's kinda half done. not totally gone well. so yea. haha. at least i finished half of my physics homework. then now i think of all those other crap i have on my desk, waiting for me to complete them. oh god. i need help.

Went for a haircut this morn. it's pretty short again. but i forgot to tell the barber to cut my front hair. now its utterly long, as compared to the rest of my hair. oh dear. =/ so i guess i'll have to cut it again before school reopens or after this month. lalala...

Life's just hectic. this entire coming week is dedicated to comp. training. oh yea. cool. hoho. anyway, hopefully we get to our previous standards. we're like jelly now. woobly woobly. not stable at all. but i'm sure it'll retain its surface tension and mark up to its glorious days. haha. go Team Scorpio~!

m.a.t.t.
[route 66.]

My Arrival

2006-06-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hey all~! i'm back! haha. i can't wait to pour my journeys out. lol.

Like i said, i was going and went to Shanghai, Hangzhou and Suzhou. it was fantastic! hahaha... apparently i wrote a mini journal about my days in China but stopped on the 3rd day. 'coz i didn't have time. bleh. business proposals sure are a headache.

Okay so Day 1: Shanghai / Hangzhou
So there i was, taking a car ride to Changi. then when i passed by this hotel/restaurant whatever place, there was a fountain outside. kinda stupid 'coz the water was red. wonder if it was due to my sleepy eyes. =/ Okay so at Changi, some 30 of us were waiting for 6am to come. then we went to Shanghai Pudong Airport. YAY. I watched Perhaps Love on the SQ plane. damn nice~ hahaha... Rating: 8.5/10 And ya, i got lots and lots of sleep. dozing off must be my forte - i can sleep anywhere one lor. lol. and yea! i listened to Penny Dai's latest (kinda old already) album "Ai Feng Le". there was my flight. HA.
We ot a personalised bus driver who'll follow us throughout the entire trip. cool. then from Pudong, we set out for Hangzhou... There we had our first 11-course dinner. LOL. full until i gonna burst of something. *burps* woops excuse me. hahah. it's pretty cool after that as we visited this night market then i bought a wooden portrait thingy. duno how to describe... it's nice and it was my 1st bargain! Y240 to Y160. not bad bah... and ya we headed back to the Nade Hotel and slept at 12 i think.

Day 2: Hangzhou
This is probably gonna be uber long... lol. Apparently we had to wake up at 7am for breakfast at 7.30am. most of us were late... HAHA. lol. so after that we headed for Engravers' Society, some place about seals and stuff. it was damn fun 'coz we were actually the first group to catch a glimpse of a priviledged hall where the founders workroom of sort. (where only people like Hu and Mao went. ^^) That was when i realised: i FORGOT to bring my CAM. =="
So there was Zhejiang Museum for a task which we kinda screwed it up by misintepretating the info. lol. so we had to rush around doing it. Surprisingly after, we had lunch at a Thai Restaurant which served Chinese food. weird. oh well. I can eat, then good enough. xD And nothing much after lunch, visiting "Xi Hu" and "704 Project" on Lin Biao, a secret HQ or palace. it's damn ridiculous when i think about Lin Biao: he didn't even go to the palace and he died in a plane crash which was supposed to take him overseas. i thought the palace was his hideout. stupid. lol.
We went to some "Shu Yuan" whereby it was said that "Liang Shanbo" and "Zhu Yingtai" studied. it's pretty tranquil there so we had our debrief up the school on entrepreneurship and stuff.

Day 3: Hangzhou / Suzhou
Ok i didn't pen this day down. I don't quite rmb the series of events that day. But i rmbed that we went for a case study of the great entrepreneur Jack Ma and his company Alibaba.com. quite cool. it's apparently competing against eBay.com if i'm not mistaken. pro~ And yes, we went for lunch. basically the lunch and dinner for now are like 10/11-course meals. bleh.
In the afternoon, we went to a Tea Museum: Longjing Village. that speaker (a woman in her 30's) was damn pro and eloquent. she can almost make u feel guilty for not buying her tea leaves and drinking sodas like Coke and stuff. scary. and okay, we left for Suzhou, saying goodbye to Hangzhou and its fantastic hotel. (which u can choose any movie u want to watch~)

Day 4: Suzhou
*yawns* it's tiring for everyday to walk and move around so much. phew. we were attached to a school called Suzhou No. 10 which apparently has 100+ years of history. something like sji. we learnt about chinese literature (a little) and mask painting. so fun! but i couldn't finish my mask. so... i brought it back! lol. it's nice okay. not considered crap... yet, i think. =p
Here comes "Xi Ju" or "Ge Tai Ju" meaning Chinese Opera. it was rather boring... hehe. i mean i thought i would see some fighting scenes of sort, but we were watching some tragic opera instead. yea *sob sob* others go - i went *snore snore*. =/
Perk me up with shoppin'! haha. we went to Shan Tang Jie. but sadly there was rain and the shops were mostly closed. so all we did was complete our assigned task there and we had to leave. Out of the blue, we saw Chen Lao Shi there. pure coincidence man... she was on a tour if im not wrong. cool... lol.
If i'm not wrong, we had dinner on our own and we went to some street where my group, Group 1, started by eating some street stalls' snacks. then after that we went to KFC to eat, 'coz there wasn't enough time to eat at a local restaurant. sigh. but the local delights were damn nice and tasty~ hahah...

Day 5: Suzhou (again)
Lol. we visited a developing Singapore company called Jasper Art there. pretty cool 'coz this company actually deals with the image of fastfood restaurants and the logos and stuff. we took a picture of the old man of kfc, handless! lol. probably incomplete, i know. but it was laughable.
Lunch was over and we went back to Suzhou No. 10 for a lesson before attending a English Drama Competition held there. apparently we were to perform by singing "Home". *phew* lucky it went out well. haha.then we went to Guan Qian Jie after that. i forgot what happened there... bleh. i think it was shoppin' and sadly, once again, i didn't buy anything. =="

Day 6: Suzhou / Shanghai
Haii... there we depart and checkout of the best hotel. don't rmb what's the name but it rocks. the facilities are clean and neat. what a pity we had to leave. anyway, we went to "Liu Yuan" or rather the Lingering Gardens and embarked on our task. it was fun~ haha. but it was so big, i almost got lost i think. lol.
Again lunch ended, we rode the bus to Shanghai. First thing we reached there, we went to Nanjing Lu and had dinner on our own. This road is almost like the Orchard Road of Singapore, just without a vehicle road. it was just humans on it. i think i bought 1 or 2 stuff. don't quite rmb. haha. in the late evening after that, we visited the Bund. the scenery rocks...! =) took quite a number of photos there.
Now one of the bad moments arrive. i think. we checked in to this weird old hotel which was apparently nearer to the school that we were visiting the next day. it was so stupid. people were saying the hotel was haunted due to rather lousy lightings and ran along the corridors the whole night. scaring themselves out. so ridiculous... well i didn't bother la. so i had an okay night. haha.

Day 7 & 8: Shanghai
Nothing much again. i'll just emphasise on the significant stuff. we moved hotel. due to the haunted hotel we were staying in. zzz. what's the big deal. and yea we changed into a nicer hotel. not bad la.

Hm. we went to this art gallery in the afternoon set up by the Shanghai gov't. it's kinda like a tourism spot. yet the artwork there are like so liberal that i feel so disgusted at some. *puke* lol. we went to Xiangyang market too where you can bargain until 30 yuan for everything that were priced at 100 yuan and above. lol.
Then the next day we had a school attachment again. we learnt some chinese wordings and martial arts. wordings were okay. then martial arts was the killer. it stretched my legs like crap. *ugh* then that coach was so fast (since we had to rush for time) then i basically didn't do much. lol.
And yes! SHOPPING. at this place called Raffles City. LOL. damn funny. but its cool too. then we went down 2 streets and what i only rmb was the New Zealand Natural. icecream, milkshake and stuff. go cookies&cream! hahaha... kinda sad. i had stomach upset that few days. lol.

Day 9: Shanghai
Okay so we went back to Zi Zhu Yuan School. for soccer, basketball and table tennis matches. SJI is so inferior lor... the other students had to like give way to us so we can get a few shots while they just score like mad. ==" so insulting.

YAY. Scavenger Hunt! we started at XinTianDi and were supposed to end at some JingAnSi Plaza / Brazillian Restaurant. Group 1 came in first~ haha. so we got some prizes given tmr... it was rather fun. i love the bus ride. so spacious. apparently i wanted to take a photo of the LCD mon. that showed the next stop. i was like going "nobody's blocking me!" then in the end, i didn't take it 'coz some auntie stood there. =/
Woops i forgot. every night there was some sorta meetings with our group teacher in charge or with the entire cohort. so we were like sleeping at 1am, 2am... sian. and finally the day came. the final presentation in the evening. i feel so guilty for taking 7min to talk crap. =/ zzz. we didn't win. sigh. nvm. it was on image consultancy btw...

Day 10: Shanghai / Singapore
This day was rather long. we were allowed to wake up at 7.30am. YAY. haha... then we checked out and left for the Pearl of the Orient and that area to sighsee. of all days hor, the russian envoy or whatever had to visit Shanghai and the entire Bund was sealed off. ==" anyway, we took some photos there then left for lunch i think. hehe. i finally bought more stuff: 2 CDs, a belt and a Nemo toy! haha.

You know the prizes that we got for the hunt? Haagen Daz! haha. ok i think i spelt it wrongly. anyway, mr wong treated us and i had this double scoop in cone. cookies again! haha. then we were kinda late for the bus. =/ haha. anyway, claudine and kathleen our erm... leaders for the entire cohort had to leave for Qingdao so we went our separate ways.
There we were at Pudong Airport and on SQ plane. watched the Pink Panther and the Date Movie. so stupid, both movies. zzz. could have watched something else. one's lame and ==" while the other's sick and lame. anyway, i slept again. ahaha...

Must thank Claudine and Kathleen for organising this wonderful trip. Arigato! haha... and of course the teachers who went along. Thank you! not to mention josephians, without them, this trip is nothing... and all out to Group 1! YAY. So ends our Shanghai trip on 7th June.

Back to Singapore. 8th June. Kuanhuai called. report to sji at 6pm. i was ready to move out at 10.45 for breakfast. anyway, so ronn and juowi came over to my place since they all left house le. so we waited until like 5.30pm and left for sji. then camp... Talentime was fun~ lots of laughter and joy. i pretty happy on my part cos i actually got something to do although i like just came. =)

That's about it. sjab camp got nothing much to say, since i was there like 18 hours. lol. the worst was probably me being CO for MED this morning and the changing of uniform in and out countlessly. lol. i knew nuts about the changes in the MED plan lor... Okay nvm. so that's that. went home at 12.45pm. haha. Slept from 4pm to 7pm. beauty sleep.

m.a.t.t.
[genesis.]

I'm Ready~

2006-05-28T17:00:00.000+08:00

i can't wait. haha. i'm going to Shanghai, Hangzhou and Suzhou over the next 9 days. yay~ *ecstatic* lol. oh and did i tell you that i haven't packed? well, i can finish that in an hour. lalala...

apparently, i went to Cineleisure just 4 hours ago. of course, to watch a movie. lol. with ronn, arjun and desmond. Over the Hedge. what a blast! it's a combi. of laughter and suspense. well not exactly the "tense" suspense. slight thrills. the theme of family behind the entire movie is not bad. though it seems that something is missing from the movie... i can't pinpoint it. *ponders* Rating: 8.5/10

i'm not doing anything at all these few days. just indulging in my computer. no homework. no nothing. (except more food. *grins*) i feel kinda guilty though. it's like i know i don't have time for homework over the next month. but there's no driving force to motivate me to work. haha. i better be more disciplined next term... i'm letting myself loose too much.

yesterday's Dragon-Boating was fun~ haha. i was participating in the sec3 (like duh.) 24-men crew thingy. gold medal! heehee... my first interhouse medal. so cool. and to think i'm some pathetic weak, erm, thing. i mean human. lol. well i got other "prizes" too. like muscle aches. hahaha...

oops. i forgot about SYF training at national stadium on tues. but i'll prefer not to talk about it. it stains my blog. it leaves a bitter patch on my blog. eyesore. sji girls are such nonsensical whatevers. go girls. HA.

from roy's blog entries, it seems the friends thing is a real blasphemy. (i don't know what that means. i just thought of it.) well, friends can be the simplest of acquaintances or to best pals that you can share every secret with. apparently i don't have them. but hopefully my friendship with some close frens can develop more. =) life's meaningless without friends.

anyway, i'm leaving for Shang~hai tmr morning. so i won't be blogging till... after i come back from my sjab camp that's right after my shanghai trip. bleh. make haste. not to forget my tonnes of homework that have been piling up on my desk. =/ bye everyone~!

m.a.t.t.
[all natural.]

"Wonderful"

2006-05-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

Quote of the Day:

"Hey, can I borrow your drill cane?"

Today's the last day of school. Rejoice! Then report books came pouring in. I was laughing like mad when my report book said my expected L1B5 was 10.8. Guess what I got for this term. 18. LOL. of course, that ain't any good, so i got 24th in class. =/ Oh wells.

Biology presentation was today. Pretty rushed since there were 6 groups i think. I truly think i could have done MUCH better. My part that i got was so crap lor... I didn't even say much. and mrs lim was marking on our presentation more than our contents. ==" Feel so stupid.

Here comes another pissful part. last period of the day was cleaning up. *ugh* people are naturally stupid isit... or are they just plain retarded. probably both. but the end was fun of course, we had a mini presentation of the class, pics from class bbq and all. Must commend Qing Huang~ haha... thanks!

I feel more stupid once again. I was supposed to meet ms goh outside the glass doors of the staff room during recess. I waited. and waited. she didn't turn up. then when i went back to class, another classmate passed me the stuff that she wanted me to do. =/ It's a poem writing competition. my poem that i did, fortunately or unfortunately, got selected for it based on democratic class votes. lol. surprise surprise.

So obviously for the rest of the day, was training. I won't say much though. *take caution* lol. oh wells. u can infer from the quote i mentioned. FUN hor. basically today was screwed too. 1.5 hours and more in push-up position. SHIOK hor. *calms down* bleh.

I just thought of this: PWP. it stands for "Plan? What plan?" =p Way to go training.

Anyway, there's dragon-boating tmr~ Hm. Waking up at 5.45pm. lol. normal school time. despite starting at 8, its held at kallang. lalala... lol.

m.a.t.t.
[what an insult.]

Reflection

2006-05-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

There comes another one of those days in which I kinda reflect.

So I was like talking to Roy for an hour or so. the conversation really made me think a lot. about all my messed thoughts and loosely-ended threads of who-knows-what. lol.

The thing about the friends. It's difficult to find really close friends. I mean yes i sure do have a really large group of FRIENDS, but i suppose those who really know what i'm thinking or something, are no more than... 5? Sad. Yes.

Apparently it just occurred to me (from Roy) that i need to relax a bit. i'm pretty much too tensed up and serious. and yes i admit that. over the past... 3 months(?), i've been like that. so uptight about everything, getting pissed at whoever just gets in my way. RELAX man. cool off. and yea i'll probably be using the Shanghai trip as a start for my reliever. hopefully i can tide over my nerve-wreckin' days.

MSN. So what if i have like 120+ contacts in my list? what's the big deal when i only talk to roughly 8 ppl on average? Sure i talk to a whole lot of other ppl but they talk to me, when they need to. they are just there.

The part about me feeling pretty hopeless and pathetic is when some ppl are just figureheads. they are just there, 'coz they're there. it doesn't really matter. they are like there to occupy that particular space. not a single bit about being irreplaceable. why not? bye bye to fren G and there comes fren H who can be like waved goodbye again for fren J to enter. =/

Looking back at my position as Class Chairman for the past 5 months (well almost), it's kinda inevitable that i'm not well-liked. it's like it'll just happen lor. chairmans are like the extras of the class, as intepreted by me over the past 2+ years. i mean, its the chairmans who always do the most for the class, be it controlling and maintaining order etc. Like i said, the others are jsut figureheads. bleh.

I'm almost succumbing to the pressure around me already. verge of breakin' down? not yet exactly. but it's like i can't wait for my life to embark on a decade-old holiday or something. probably travelling around the world to my favourite destinations (provided i have enough money) or staying in my own apartment forever... That dream house will be coated white with tinges of orange..., with roughly 10 rooms? 1 bedroom, 1 study, 4 guestrooms whenever frens wanna come over~, 2 comp. rooms and 2 party rooms. that'll rock.

Am i utterly depressed here? Guess not. Just reflecting. i'm not sinking into my abyss of depthless sorrow you know, don't get me wrong. i'm just avalanching my blog entry with complaints, opinions and reflections.

Getting tired now. i still have to go for SYF practice at National Stadium tmr. lalala. let's pray i get enlightened. ((:

m.a.t.t.
[deranged.]

Unwillingness

2006-05-21T22:00:00.000+08:00

I feel so retarded, again. =

I didn't really sleep that late last night, like 12mn? Then today 11.30am then wake up. I planned to wake up at 9am lor... Anyway, that sure took away my so-called home-work-crap-whatever time. Hm. Come to think about it, it may not be a bad thing... Lol. And I still feel sleepy now!

Talking about homework, I still have 3 in hand. And there you have it, I'm not really into finishing them. It's like so boring. As usual. And I just can't let myself spend the next 2 hours doing them, and letting my dear time that can be spent somewhere else just disappear like that. TV, bathing and sleeping are my next top priorities. Wondering what I should do next. Hmm...

I've been thinking, I don't think I have any friends who are considered best friends to me. Lol. Talk about anti-social. I'm not exactly that bad, but just can't hook onto anyone that have similar interests. Really sad. Lol. It's like everyone around are just friends. Yea sure having them around is good, but no 死党, if you know what I mean. =/

Back to Friday, Comp. Training was odd enough. Because there was like the Shanghai Trip briefing which took up to 4.30pm, so Juowi and I went to training then. So after we changed, we were doing reflection. Who needs to change for reflection? *rolls eyes* Okay nvm. So we settled down. Then there was some hassle here and there, then Ronney had typed some reflections for each of us. Okay so much for that. And there were totally nonsensical distractions from people like XXX and YYY. Probably we were at fault too, choosing the CANTEEN. =="

I can't help but feel the pressure and lots of disappointment in our team. it's so pathetically helpless. look at us. time is limiting us to a matter of bits. hopefully we can tide over, and at least uphold our own dignity that we've done our very best...

m.a.t.t.
[silent deep threats.]

Outcast

2006-05-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like u're just so messed up.

Chinese results came in today. It's so horrible. 61. *ugh* how can u get that mark? express chinese somemore!!! The compo.s were the main killers, failing me both. ==" I better buck up and learn from my damn mistakes. Must get A1!!

Anyway, PSE was at PAC for some F-Cell Techonology talk about the environmentally friendly and non-pollutive meredes-benz that has gone on testing in the world in 4 countries namely USA, UK, Japan and Singapore. cool right. and 2 of them were in SJI out of the 6 cars exported for testing here. haha. but i didn't really catch a glimpse of it. went back to class and slack instead. lol. wonder how's it like driving left-wheeled...?

After school there was the Shanghai trip briefing. rather important, i'll say. lots of information given to us. roommates, groupings and stuff were all confirmed. i kinda doubt my group though... no offence. but its like i know none of the other 3 in the group of 6 besides ronn and juowi. *rolls eyes* =/ oh and the entire trip was 29th may to 7th june, at 8am departure and 9pm arrival. oh god~ and sjab training camp's the next day. WHAT FUN.

Holidays are but life-wrecking miserable days of your life. you almost can't squeeze any time out to do any homework, let alone homework. ==" homework that includes 2 projects ain't funny either. unscrew my life!! and apparently, we have to train for National Comp. that's in july. eff-ed up. time is such a miser.

About me, seriously, I think i totally messed up myself. I'm almost like getting pissed at anyone I don't like. or getting pissed from some people or things that just really deserves to be screwed off somewhere far and away from me. =/ Better learn some self-control. I can't talk without offending anyone for nuts.

m.a.t.t.
[In need for serious reflection.]

The Angel Test

2006-05-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

THE ANGEL TEST

You're an angel if you scored below 60.

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex

4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex

5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 3

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 7

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 3

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 1

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 3

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 1

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper

62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 4

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 3

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 6

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 5

GRAND TOTAL: 36!!!

I'm being really honest okay. Honesty is the best (if not, the second best) policy, you know... Lol. And please don't like gross out at me or something. That sucks. Which will mean you suck too.

m.a.t.t.
[fever premonition.]

Yes!

2006-05-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy~ (Well over quite some things...)

1. SJI-SJAB Squad Scorpio's .org website is finally up!

Well, okay la. It's not really my effort or anything but I'm just happy for Scorpio~ *beams*

2. Pic. permission: Granted!

It's the pic. that I should be using for my upcoming home-made blogskin~ *beams even brighter* Lol. Finally got the permission after... 2 days? xD At least I didn't get rejected and shot at with vulgar words or something. (Like what happened right in the comments section of a random artist's work. That was like so... shocking.)

3. Holidays are coming!

Lol. I mentioned this like the last post but oh wells. The more the better right? xD

*cut*

Okay no more happy mood already. Today was like so *ugh*. I can almost prove that project work is useless and it totally sucks. It's like I'm solo-ing the whole Biology project lor. Well besides the research (that rendered below average useful-ness). What's more: DotA occupied team members for 4 hours. What the hell?! =/ Oh the problem with dogs. Qing's dog can sure occupy Kenny for 1 hour at least. *rolls eyes* Way to go man. (Though I may not really have the right to say that. I, seriously, don't like it too much interacting with dogs. I'll prefer keeping my distance away from them. *thumbs up*) At least I tried to, umm, tao the dog? Don't ask me. Ask the dog. Anyway, at least the presentation and poster is finished. =="

Next comes Chem. UbD. I'm like supposed to do it now. But I'm like blogging here. Lol. But it's like the entire group hasn't even met. (Meanwhile doubting the usefulness of it.) Then now the presentation is not done. Second Way to go. *rolls eyes* Now at least 2 other members are online. Chiong ar. *shrugs*

Maybe when I get pissed next time, I should like go *beep* or something. Then after an entire post, I'll count the number of *beep*s I made and see how pissed I truly am. LOL. Okay another lame thing. Hey don't take it too serious. I'm not putting that to use.

m.a.t.t.
[smile and brighten up the day.]

Depressant

2006-05-16T23:00:00.000+08:00

oh dear. i'm just gonna screw up my TA2. =/

getting 3 Cs ain't a fun thing. (and don't criticise me just 'coz ur results are 3 Ds or something.)

hm. i seriously need to mugg. considering whether i have enough time... since there's like:
1. Shanghai Trip
2. SJAB UTC
3. Comp. Trainings
4. LLTC
5. National Comp.

sigh. anyway, depending on my free time, i'm gonna have another quizzie!! lol. ~~so fun.~~ so good to pass time. just the thing i need. hmm. probably the angel test~ sounds cool right? xD

i feel kinda confused right now. i'm almost blur about what am i confused about.

*blank*

still needs time to organise my thoughts... maybe tonight will be good. sort out those rubbish that's blocking my arteries and veins. in other words, they're clogging up my brain. bleh. cerebral compression. LOL.

tmr's plain and simple. supposed to be holiday due to polling thingy but I gotta head for qing's house. did i say that before? sounds familiar. okay nvm. for bio. ubd project. zzz. coronary heart disease. =/ probably i'll get angina pectoris while doing the project. xD okay i'm getting real lame here.

riiight. i still have chem. project. which the group still hasn't completed. bleh. why must life be like that... so many *ugh* projects. of which they may not be counted at all in the end-of-year exams... oh wells. try my best bah. what's more? tons more. some other assignments... i can't stand it. =/

today's 16th may. 2 more weeks to holidays!!! if u even call them holidays. bleh. but at least i get to enjoy something (like Shanghai trip) then back to boring usual life. tsk. the usual. and probably i'll just get pissed off again, some way or another. i don't feel like getting pissed off though... lol. contradicting. but yes its like premonition, intuition, or dejavu. whatever u spell that. lol. if that even apply in my case...

i can't help it. i'm not making sense in whatever i say. so nonsensical. so retarded. so... matthew chan. lol. nvm. im just muttering rubbish...

m.a.t.t.

[not amused.]

p.s. it's not my fault. ask my brain.

Busy days

2006-05-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

Hello... bloggin' again. i guess i really got nothing much to do now. although i'm kinda rushed with projects (yet ignoring them). lol.

Oh and yes, i might be doing some minor changes in my blog as part of experimenting a blogskin. hehe. but not big changes. small ones that even you may not notice. lol. it's almost like "spot the change" or some lame game. xP

anyway, about today, there came my A maths results. 70%. =/ fairly well. saddening. so many careless mistakes. could have like gotten 85. bleh. stupidity. derived from the great matt. =="

hm. oh yea. happy birthday fabian! lol. if u even are seeing this. oh well.

wednesday's a school holiday. YAY! lol. due to polling or something like that. another slackin' day... phew. but then thursday got Xcountry. zzz. after school some more. boring. can't believe the mass run starts 2 hours after the entire event. another waste of my afternoons. =/

m.a.t.t.

[still tired.]

It's Over

2006-05-13T16:28:00.000+08:00

finally... common tests are over. busy muggin' or rather no time to blog. either way, i'll start bloggin' again~ yay. lol.

and i'll be thinking about making a blogskin. *ponders* i'm not sure. depends whether i'm in the mood to do so. lol.

anyway, thursday was pretty okay. (skippin' those days before that. too idiotic.) chem. paper was oh-so-screwed-up. bleh. afternoon was training. started off with 6 sec3s. WOW. after training, ronn, arjun and i went to cineleisure to catch MI3. it was kinda stupid... movie timings either just nice or too late. why was just nice bad? 'coz they were like selling fast or even sold out.

So in the end, we didn't manage to watch any movie at all. ==" since we had so much time (like until 10.30pm), we ate at BK slowly, then strolled to Borders. nothing much there. music, books, what else? oh did i mention ronn left his phone and watch in school? pretty panicky for us. so when the day ended, and we were going home and all, he went back to school, and found his stuff exactly where he thought they would be. lol.

yesterday was vesak day. so fun!! watched MI3 with benedict and his bro, leon. i guess the movie's okay, not what i thought to be like, (tom cruise, tom cruise and tom cruise), but other more exciting people. like maggie Q. guessed her character lacked areas to widen her scope. sad. i was thinking it was rather sad that the director didn't show how tom cruise went to get the rabbit's foot or whatever. rating: 7/10.

by the time i was home, it was 3.50pm. i had to leave house at 4.30pm to go qing's house for class bbq. YAY. lol. then when i went to the bus stop, it took 15min for 163 to come. ==" what's more. i missed the stop that i had to alight. so i had to like walk quite some distance to his house.
we started to start the fire when ms lim came (or left whichever). took like 30min to set up. ==" around 5 scouts in the class and only one was actually trying to start the damn fire. tsk. and who ar...? eat so many servings and do nothing but complain not enough food? *rolls eyes*

ms koh came soon. then we were cooking the food. laptops were switched on for the music. the fish that we started the cook was said to be raw... i dunno. my judgement's not good mah... not as if i'm some professional chef or something... (and oh well i was the one who bbq-ed at the beginning.) so we switched after some time, and everyone started eating... the food's not bad, for us amateur cooks. lol. guess the best was the fruit salad. lol. those that were prepared earlier, not on bbq. HA. and it was drizzling then the fire was like between strong and nothing. so the chicken wings and fish were like not cooked at all.

guess what. it was ms koh's birthday! then we hurriedly went to the lounge and took class photos with her, since she had another birthday appointment. haha... oh ya, and mr tang came before that, with his son! lol. ok then, blah blah blah... went around taking photos... surya was in 40% of my photos... talk about snatching the limelight... or dim light whatever. lol.

the bbq ended at round 9.30pm, since the scholars all left. then the cleaning up was like left to roughly 6 people by 10pm. ==" talk about assigning tasks. we need a plan next time and make those people who NAEO (No action, EAT only) do something. so namely ms lim, qinghuang (duh it's his residence), jethro, kangwei and me. so much leftover... i even took back some vegetable salad lol. and c0ol. ms lim drove 3 of us home. hehe... it was like 10.45pm.

kk enough. that's about it i guess. today? i wanted to watch Poseidon. no one wants to. sadly.

m.a.t.t.
[comfort time.]

These Days

2006-05-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

bleh.

school's getting boring these days. don't ask me why. it's just boring. to a certain extent, im tired of school. how i can't wait to get home each day. oh well. there's still a long way to go. long long way...

guess what? an unlucky thing happened to me yesterday when i was going home. i slept on the bus (as usual...) then when the bus arrived at my stop, i was still asleep. when it was about to move off, i woke up. then in my blur state, i realised it was my stop. i don't know why but i didn't press the bell. i just like sat there. then i alighted at the next stop. it was so STUPID. argh.

frustrations. my time management is deteriorating... it's getting harder for me to manage my homework. but oh well. im still in that subconscious state. i shall not be STUPID again. i shall be SMART. lol. hopefully. ^^

next week's the common tests week. busy. really hectic muggin' schedule. see. another example of bad time management. :/ poor brain of mine. stuffed with knowledge and then not absorbing. haii... need to pay more attention in class. but so expensive... LOL. ok nvm that was really lame.

my humanities are screwed badly enough. i better buck up in my maths and sciences... and i seriously need more sleep!!! :(

m.a.t.t.
[there's no such thing as not enough time. its how u squeeze it like a sponge. there's always space for more.]

Duh-ness

2006-04-30T15:32:00.000+08:00

*smirks*

ok nvm that comment. guess its just me being stupid again.

There was Friday... okay. MT Exam wasn't as screwed as i thought. in the matter of fact, paper 2 was greeaaat! lol. nothing much in the morning. except for the frostbite feeling. should've gotten a jacket or something. =="

Training by Scorpio in the afternoon. not bad. *ponders* ~~what's wrong with me.~~ what's wrong with u people...

Then next's Saturday. okay forget this. nothing to say. just boring.

Today. Sunday. went to junction 8 for a haircut again. hair long mah... the back lor... bleh. whatever. but its so friggin' short now. scaring the daylights outta myself. :/ then there was shoppin' for stationery and other stuff. coincidentally, i went to Sembawang as well and asked about Jolin Tsai's 舞娘 album. can pre-order neh. oh well. im not gonna buy it. but im still getting the songs. =p

Back home, there's tuition. the usual. identifying my confusion. chemical calculations suck.

who's interested in tonight's Mayday concert? not 五月天 hor... it's 庆五一... hehe... but i doubt anyone would be going... haii. then i watch tmr afternoon at 1pm lor. :/

m.a.t.t.
[life's just like that.]

Random

2006-04-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

nothing much for now.

today was generally okay. maybe it was another tiring day for me.

did a report and a chinese essay just now. not bad. hopefully they are all okay.

I shall begin to read up abit for my essays for tmr. go me! lol.

m.a.t.t.
[prodigal sons. xD]

Inevitable

2006-04-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

*ugh*

I still can't believe that i just screwed both my humanities in one day. it's like so dramatic. u see the paper, look at the questions, then *stun*. ==" felt so helpless then. oh well. hope all goes well in 2 weeks time.

i don't have much to say. it's pretty boring. and im like getting more tired by days come. I just got that odd feeling that i'm just screwing up my life. screwed. *tsk*

friday's CL mid-year exams. probably this was good news: no lessons! xD lol. then the following afternoon has training led by scorpio~ lol. all the best to us!

okay enthusiasm subsides. time to drone into my homework. just went for uh... banquet? lol. i dunno. mini banquet? lmao. oh well. cya people soon. will be back during the long weekend.

m.a.t.t.
[downcast.]

Hectic

2006-04-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

my apologies.

It has been a busy week... and there are numerous things that revolve around. things like Humanities Common Tests, CL midyear exams and projects. sigh. and i realised i still have 2 more reports to rush. ==" hopefully i can cope with this week.

p.s. I'll try to make a longer post next time, when I have the time.

m.a.t.t.

[incapabilities.]

Assasination

2006-04-21T17:45:00.000+08:00

a tiring day nevertheless.

Sports Meet in the morning. a total waste of my time.

off to junction 8 to watch The Sentinel with some 332 guys. rating: 7.5/10
just some ordinary movie. not much of appeal. nor any new advanced techo stuff. :/

what a day.

m.a.t.t.
[masks of life.]

The Story

2006-04-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

Random Story

Long time ago, an overbearing tax collector was on his rounds around a village. Everyone feared him, for he had the backing of the officials of the higher order.

This day, he came to this house, barged in, and demanded to see the entire family, especially the head of the family. The head of the family, a man, was shocked when the collector decreed that they must pay their taxes by the following week.

Usually, they were informed at least a month ago. Yet, this time, they were given a week! He was desperate and on his knees, asked why didn't the tax collector came this late.

The tax collector replied with a smirk on his face, that he told the family one month ago, and probably they didn't hear it and it was not his fault. Kicking the man down, he simply walked out of the house in arrogance.

m.a.t.t.
[bewilderment.]

Nothing Particular

2006-04-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

nothing much. pretty bored with homework now. I still have to read up my FA manual.

this pretty sums up my day. lol.

m.a.t.t.
[number 4.]

Some Test

2006-04-16T15:30:00.000+08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to

the First Level of Hell - Limbo!

Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment.

You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell.

These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle.

There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

*raises eyebrow* i see what you mean, roy.

m.a.t.t.

[huh.]

Random Quiz

2006-04-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

by popular demand?

new quiz update on Good Friday, on request from Roy.
(okay... i see no link of the quiz to the day itself. lol.)

*name someone who influenced you the most last year:

Hm. last year. umm. Fabian? I don't know myself. Probably he showed much aspects to viewing things around me with different perspectives. and he taught me to be patient. =P thanks. yet, was that called influencing?

*name five traits you admire in others and name five friends who possess it:
blurness of Matthew Koo
happy-go-luckiness of Norman
proactiveness of Ronney
thoughtfulness of Roy
timeful silence of Fabian

*name someone you will want to spend the rest of your life with:
Uh. i won't want to spend my life only with one person. i will spend it with more people! the more the people, the more the fun and laughter! moreover, i won't be having those plans so early...

*name someone you don't mind getting stranded on an island for fifty years with:
*mouth agape* Fifty years?! no one! that's so mean.
well, i won't make someone suffer by being with me for that long.

*name someone you can't stand at the moment:
I can't name. there are too many. refer to previous post.

*name someone you sometimes wished to be like:
Norman. leading a life full of daily exciting adventures that can cheer up anybody any time.

*name the weirdest person you know:
In this world, no one is not weird. everyone is unique in some sense in their own way. so I can't really put a finger on anyone.

*name someone whom you find fascinating:
Hm. Fabian! in a way, you can't tell what is he trying to do. 'coz he can be mature or childish at different times. Lol.

*name someone you find very attractive:
That's a good question. I have no answers to this.

*name someone who is near perfection:
This is difficult. i doubt there's anyone whom i know who is near perfect.

*name someone you'll ring up immediately if something great happens to you:
I don't really ring up anyone. my friends will probably know it when it happens. lol.

*name someone you'll confide your darkest secret to:

Nobody... I'll rather keep it to myself.
One, i don't have a darkest secret.

Two, i don't have such a friend to confide to. ='(

*name someone you trust most besides yourself:
No idea. I trust a relevant number of people. lol.

*name someone you'll die for:
I'm not that obsessed with anyone, yet. XD

*name someone you'll vote for the president:
Wow? Let's see... How 'bout Norman? Singapore will crack up! LOL.

*name 5 people you want to do this quiz:
Okay la. I don't think anyone else besides those who did the quiz already will have the time to do this nowadays. tests and exams are coming...

m.at.t.
[nonsensical.]